I'm a Clown Fish

A Fast to Start 2012

2012-01-03T19:32:00.000-08:00

I had a feeling about a month ago that maybe I should start 2012 out with a fast to help me refocus and reconnect with God and what He has for me for this coming year. That was confirmed through our Pastor the following week when he announced our annual 21 day fast had been moved from Easter time up to January 9th - 31st. . . . I love confirmation from God! (Not that I need confirmation to fast, but I am excited because I feel like God really has something for me because of this confirmation.)

I don't really know what my future holds, but I do know Who holds my future.

God, I am asking that You reveal more of Yourself to me, that I may see a glimpse of Your face and get to know You more. I am also asking for You to reveal Your plan and purpose in my life. Show me if what I am doing through my work is all that you have for me or if there is more. Show me what I am supposed to be doing to help build Your house and minister in Your house. I don't want to miss Your calling and Your plan. Open my eyes and my heart to what You have for me. In Jesus name, Amen!

Thankfulness . . . .

2011-11-23T18:22:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day 2011. What would have been my parent's 44th wedding anniversary was yesterday. Today I spent the day in the kitchen cooking my Dad's Cajun Dressing - the house still has that smell of onions, celery, and green pepper sauteing, and it will for probably another 24 hours!

David came up today with Colton and Makenzie and we cooked, went to lunch, and played at the park. I love my brother and his family! It amazes me the way some families just don't get along very well because David and I always have. We are very close and I pray it always remains that way. I can't imagine going through life with strife between us - it just shouldn't be that way!

I am thankful this Thanksgiving Eve for my brother - his love, his friendship, his silliness, and his support. I love his family and the joy they bring to my life. I am thankful for parents who loved me and raised me with integrity, manners, and a good work ethic. I am thankful for my 3 kids - who although argue often, still love each other and are healthy. Yes, Caleb has diabetes, but I am thankful he is here, on the planet, in my home, with all of his mental and physical capabilities. I have friends who can't say that. I am thankful for my husband, Dennis. Yes, he drives me insane sometimes, but I know he loves me unconditionally. I look at my past and realize where we've been as a couple - what we've walked through and how amazing it is we are still together. I couldn't have found a more committed man - committed to me and to Christ. What more could a girl ask for?

Thank you, Jesus for the gift of salvation. Without You, all the above is meaningless and without purpose. But because of You my entire family has the hope of eternity together and that is a blessing that words cannot even begin to convey. Help us all see You in our daily lives. Show us where You are leading us, clearly define our purpose here on the planet, and help us unite with a common vision.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Who we are is not what we do . . . .

2011-11-23T18:12:00.000-08:00

It's weird being in a place in my life where I am not involved in ministry. Since I resigned from Children's Ministry I've been instructed not to jump into anything and just sit and be refreshed for awhile. Many who serve/volunteer on a regular basis would think that an incredible opportunity, but honestly I am struggling with it. I feel as if I am wandering around my church, lost, not exactly sure where I fit in anymore. I've lost my title and in that it's almost as if I've lost my identity.

Leading in Children's Ministry shouldn't have defined who I am, but I think it did and I guess I need to work myself out of that mindset, because now I am looking for where I fit and the next definition of who I am so I can find my identity again. Now, I'm not always the sharpest crayon in the box, but I know enough to know that my title/position isn't who I am - it may be a part of what I do, but it's not who I am. So, that made me ask myself who I really am. All i came up with was titles - mom, wife, business owner, church member, friend, etc. How do we get out of the place where who we are is not what we do? I'm not sure I can even begin to answer that for myself.

I know Whose I am, but who am I really and how do I define that without titles? If you know the answer to this, I'm listening!

Let it go . . . .

2011-10-17T20:50:00.000-07:00

"Let it go. . . ." these are the words I feel God spoke to me about a week ago regarding Children's Ministry. I've been in Children's Ministry at Covenant Family Church for about 12 years - just after Rebekah was born and she'll be 13 in 4 months.

I began this journey in the infant room with Rebekah. I felt if I had a child in Children's ministry, I ought to invest in my daughter by investing in the ministry.  I wasn't in a classroom long, as it wasn't really for me, but I quickly switched to the check-in counter. I could sign the kids in, interact with the parents, love on the kiddos and send them on their way. I loved these kids, but I was in a pretty bad place emotionally and being in a classroom was a bad thing for the kids and for me.  The check in counter was a perfect fit for where I was.

I don't even know how long I did that and was promoted to Service Coordinator. ie the person who was the ultimate voice for Children's Ministry should anything go down during service. I made sure classrooms had supplies, teachers, and if there were any issues that needed settled regarding a child's behavior, a kid getting hurt, or a parent simply having challenges with the way we did things, I was one of the ones to handle the situation.

After doing that awhile, I got another promotion to Early Childhood Director. I think it seemed like a natural fit since I helped my best friend run a daycare. If I could do that, i ought to be able to run this ministry.  I've lost count on the years I've done this as well. It never really mattered, I just knew it was where I belonged.

Well, the time has come for me to step down from this area of ministry. It seems like it's hard to keep committed people in children's ministry and now I am becoming the one to jump off the boat. I've hung in there during challening times when I didn't want to be there, but didn't feel released to leave by God or by my church. I am certain now that God is moving me in a new direction, although I don't know what that is yet. I am learning thought, that sometimes we have to take the step before God parts the sea. I think this is one of those times.

I'm not sure where I'm headed, but I think I'm ready for a change and a new challenge. I've emailed my leader to set up a meeting with her to formally resign. It will be tough, but I know if I stay in the wrong place I am hindering the ministry more than I am helping.

Letting Go . . .

Miracle Herb?

2011-09-17T17:38:00.000-07:00

About a month ago, a friend of mine and I were working out and we were discussing how Caleb was doing regarding handling and managing his diabetes. Things had been as good as could be expected - no complications which we are eternally grateful for. Then she mentioned having watched a guest on the 700 Club by the name of Suzy Cohen and a book she had written titled, Diabetes without Drugs. The title intrigued me, but I figured it had to do specifically with Type 2 Diabetes rather than Type 1 and I know with proper diet and exercise Type 2 Diabetes can be managed and even reversed. Type 1 is for life. . . . or so I thought.

At first I didn't think much about the mention of the book, but after about 3 days I just couldn't get it off my mind. So, I got on the internet and watched the 700 Club interview. It was intriguing, but Suzy didn't mention either Type 1 or Type 2 - she just said "diabetes". She discussed a wide variety of supplements and dietary changes. Many of the supplements I'd heard of, but a few I hadn't. One, however really intrigued me. It is called Gymnema Sylvestre. What Suzy mentioned about this herbal supplement is that it has been shown to reverse Beta Cell damage - which is exactly what Dennis and I have been believing for in Caleb's pancreas. With Type 1 Diabetes, Beta Cells are destroyed and the pancreas ceases to work properly and eventually quits working all together.

I immediately downloaded the book to Dennis' Kindle and began reading. What I've learned is astonishing and there is way too much information to even touch the surface of what Suzy uncovers regarding the possible causes of Type 1 and Type 2 Diabetes along with the incredible potential to reverse even Type 1. We began Caleb on Vitamin E, Vitamin D, and the Gymnema Sylvestre immediately - thankfully he can swallow a pill! After two weeks, Caleb's blood sugar numbers began to be low - a sign that less insulin was being needed. We were believing that the supplements were helping. The following week, his numbers went back around where they had been, but now again, the past 3 days his blood sugar numbers are lowering and he is needing less insulin.

Dennis and I are believing for a full healing in Caleb and thank God for the comment made by my dear friend and for the wisdom we are finding in this book. Our prayer is that Caleb's Type 1 will be completely reversed and that the need for insulin injections will eventually not be needed at all. We are thankful that Caleb is still in the "honeymoon" phase of his diabetes, which means his pancreas is still functioning a little bit so complete damage has not happened - and we are believing it won't.

Lord, we thank you for wisdom and friends and the knowledge you share with us. I pray that through the information you've shown us that Caleb's pancreas will be healed and fully restored to it's full capacity. All damaged cells will be healed and that they will be replaced with healthy cells.

We thank you in advance for Caleb's healing!

I miss my dad

2011-08-09T18:33:00.000-07:00

In honor of my Dad with his birthday, pending tomorrow I thought I'd write a few things I remember doing with him that made me smile. . . . Dad, you would have been 69 this year. I sure do miss you.

1. "working" in the garage with you
2. playing "horse" in the driveway
3. learning how to cook with whatever's in the fridge
4. throwing a frisbee (Although I was not very good) in the back yard.
5. you telling me I threw a football like a pro when I was about 7
6. sanding on that old Nomad
7. slicing my fingers with a chisel after you told me to be careful
8. You following me to all of my gymnastics meets and bowling tournaments
9. standing rather than sitting to watch either of the above events (I do this too by the way!)
10. taking a sip of your ice cold, salted beer after you'd mowed the lawn
11. teaching me how to fish
12. you had the same crooked finger point, just like Grama Weddel
13. teaching me to love math
14. teaching me an appreciation for old cars - especially those muscle cars. One day I'm going to own a '69 Camaro - you hide and watch!
15. Only forcing me to eat watermelon once - nope, I still don't like it!
16. Asking for the keys to the corvette when David was born (I don't actually remember this, but I know it happend!)
17. Going to swap meets
18. Going to work with you and taking that backgammon game with me so it looked like I was carrying a briefcase just like you.
19. playing cribbage
20. taking walks around the block

There are a million more, but I will save them for next year's tribute.

Love you, DAD!

A thought outside of the box

2011-07-18T17:44:00.000-07:00

It has always infuriated me when people who call themselves Christians act the polar opposite of any way Jesus himself would have acted. Yes, we all know, he is the perfect one, but seriously, there are some sins that have premeditation. Take for example the "christian" who bombs an abortion clinic. Do I think abortions go against the standards set in the bible? Absolutley! But, I also believe that bombing an abortion clinic does as well. Take the priest, pastor, bishop, etc that abuses a child. That goes against biblical teachings as well. Such extremists or people who really aren't Christians, but call themselves that put such a warped, tainted view of Christianity that we all get a bad wrap. These scenarios have bothered me for years, and just recently I read a book that put my thoughts into something easy to articulate and accept. Please see below:

"In a recent radio interview I was sternly asked by the host, who did not consider himself a Christian, to defend Christianity. I told him that I couldn't do it, and moreover, that I didn't want to defend the term. He asked me if I was a Christian, and I told him yes. 'Then why don't you want to defend Chrisitianity?' he asked, confused. I told him I no longer knew what the term meant. Of the hundreds of thousands of people listening to his show that day, some of them had terrible experiences with Christianity; they may have been yelled at by a teacher in a Christian school, abused by a minister, or browbeaten by a Christian parent. To them, the term Christianity meant something that no Christian I know would defend. By fortifying the term, I am only making them more and more angry. I won't do it. Stop ten people on the street and ask them what they think of when they hear the word Christianity and they will give you ten different answers. How can I defend a term that means ten different things to ten different people? I told the radio show host that I would rather talk about Jesus and how I came to believe that Jesus exists and that he likes me. The host looked back at me with tears in his eyes. When we were done, he asked me if we could go get lunch together. He told me how much he didn't like Christianity but how he had always wanted to believe Jesus was the Son of God." Blue Like Jazz, by Donald Miller - page 115

I'm Diving In . . . . . . again!

2011-06-28T15:33:00.000-07:00

I'm diving in to the book arena again. A little over a year ago, I wrote a children's book and haven't ever attempted to get it published. I really want a publisher to pay me for my book rather than me pay the publisher this time. Maybe that sounds greedy - but that's ok. I just don't want to go into debt again getting my book published. :)

We'll see what happens! I know nothing will happen if I don't try, so here I go again!

Splash - did you hear me jump with both feet?!

ARGUING WITH IDIOTS

2011-06-20T10:26:00.000-07:00

Yes - I realize I've stolen this title from a Glen Beck book, but that's exactly what I've been doing today - arguing with idiot mentality.

So, I went on a trip to Haiti to explore a few orphanages that our church wants to "adopt". By adopt, we mean support with food, train & educate them to be self-sufficient, share the gospel, etc. Missions isn't exactly something that I've been a big proponent of, simply because I'm not into welfaring people. I believe in a "help up" not a hand out and previously, this is how I've viewed mission work.

So, in returning from my trip I am pretty stoked about the orphanage we've chosen as my paradigm has shifted after listening to the CEO of C3 Global - the organization that is partnering churches with orphanages, and listening to the pastor at this specific orphanage. The pastor there is a visionary who is totally living by faith. And by that, I don't mean, waiting for money to drop on his doorstep. He has a plan, he is working the plan, and asking God to lead the way. His orphanage currently has 56 boys whom he is pouring life into. However, he is actively building a facility that will house 120 so he never has to turn anyone away. He is teaching these boys integrity, character, the gospel, and a work ethic. They go to school and a couple of them are in university. I'm proud of this man and I'm proud of these boys. He is doing extraordinary things in an unconventional way that the Haitian people are not used to. He has the potential to change a generation, one boy at a time. And, now our church has the opportunity to partner with him to catapult his program to a higher level.

Now, that I've finally stretched myself and opened my eyes to what really is going on with the organization we are partnering with, I have a certain family member basically telling me we are dumb and using our money unwisely - like purchasing the lottery tickets he bought me for Christmas were a fabulous investment! Which, by the way, only turned into a pile of trash. Nice gift!

Yes, I'm a angry and my sarcasm rages, so I apologize. Bottom line, don't judge what other people are doing when you don't have all the facts - especially when you don't even give a rip what the facts really are. Shut your yap and do what God is asking YOU to do. Don't criticize what He is calling others to do.

I've said my peice, now I'll shut my yap!

Jumpin' off in it!

2011-04-30T18:19:00.000-07:00

Well, I've contacted a potential illustrator and handed my children's book off to a friend for editting to get it in the best possible shape to submit to potential publishers. In the back of my head I hear the enemy telling me I'm stupid to think this could really get published, but I know God has told me to move forward with this project and to continue writing.

I learned in Bible study the other day that the enemy tears you down in genralities, but that the Lord will correct you and encourage you in specific ways. If you are ever wondering if it's God or the enemy, think about how specific or general the thought or comment is.

I know I'm not stupid to reach for a goal - it may never come to fruition, but I have to do my part and leave the rest in God's hands. I continue to walk forward hoping to hear more from my God and hope that He will trust me with more revelation from Him.

Lead me on, Lord - I am trying to follow the best I know how. . .

Answers

2011-03-30T13:30:00.000-07:00

I love it when God speaks through my kiddos! Two posts ago I wrote about wandering and not knowing what to do about my next book. Well, I wrote (quite awhile ago) a children's story that has been sitting in my computer and at the back of my mind. Yesterday afternoon, out of the blue, Caleb says, "Mama, when are you going to get that book, ___________________ published?" (I'm keeping the title secret for now). It was the children's story I had written. So, I am taking that as a sign from God that publishing that bad boy is my next project. The Children's Book industry is said to be pretty brutal and tough to get into so I am doing some beginning research trying to figure out what direction to go. I am praying for wisdom and favor for this project as I am lost as a mud duck! Thank you God for speaking and I am believing for cool things to come from this project.

Apologies

2011-03-24T19:53:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had to apologize for something that you really didn't feel you owed an apology for? That may sound weird, but I remember growing up my dad telling me about "guilt by association." That pretty much meant if I chose to hang with a crowd that was doing wrong - even if I chose not to participate in whatever it was they were doing - that I was guilty just the same. There was one time I remember having to apologize for just being with the wrong people at the wrong time even though I hadn't done what the rest of the crowd was doing. I pretty much decided from that point on I was not going to make that mistake again. It was hard to apologize, but it made a distinct impression I haven't forgotten.

So, you might wonder, what it is I've done (or not done) that I am now aplogizing for. Well, it wasn't for hanging with the wrong crowd or being in the wrong place at the wrong time. This time it is for words I spoke that were misunderstood and taken completely wrong. The person on the receiving end of my words interrupted a sentence and then took what I said out of context. She then proceeded to verbally tear me apart and pretty much tell me how bad I suck. Not exactly what every person wants to hear!

This conversation has been bothering me for over a week. I've been hurt. I'm angry. I pretty much want to rip this person's head off and then use it as a soccer ball. . . . . but then that wouldn't be the Christ like thing to do now, would it? ;)

Instead, God had me write this person a letter today apologizing for my lack of communication skills and for hurting her feelings. Did I say anything wrong in our initial conversation? I honestly don't think so. However, God has lead me to write this letter and I am trusting it will heal the unintended wound I gave this person. In turn, I am also trusting that God will use this process to heal my hurt heart so I don't hold a grudge against this person. I'm pretty good at carrying a grudge. Sometimes I can carry it so long, I forget why I have the grudge. Now that's BAD! I don't mean to carry the grudges around. I honestly try to let most of it roll off my shoulders, but what really ends up happening is I usually brush it under the rug, but the problem is that it (whatever it is) is still really there. It's just hiding under the surface waiting to be released at the next deep cleaning.

I know if I hadn't addressed the issue that I had with this person, the dirt under the rug would have come out again later on down the road. Ignoring an issue is sometimes an ok way to deal with things. Other times, the issue needs to be addressed so we can move forward.

So today, I apologized to someone who has hurt me deeply. Will this person accept the apology? I don't know. That's between her and God now. I've done my part and pray that God will continue healing my hurt and allow my act of forgiveness to become a true feeling of forgiveness. Right now my forgiveness is a verbal choice with no emotion involved what so ever.

Faithin' it 'til I make it!

Lara

Wandering . . . .

2011-03-24T14:45:00.000-07:00

I know I am supposed to write another book. But, just like God, He isn't working in me the same way twice. I am having the hardest time pulling my thoughts together! I think I have a topic and then I start writing only to find myself "wandering off" in a different direction. So, then I think, hmmmmm, maybe I'm supposed to write about _____________. So I give that a shot and then end up wandering again.

I sure hope all this wandering on the pages comes together in some orderly fashion! I feel like the Israelites wandering through the dessert. I know the Promised Land is just over the hill, but instead I keep going in circles like a dog chasing its tail!

What to do . . . . What to do!

Our New Normal . . . . .

2011-02-09T19:37:00.001-08:00

What is normal? It is so many different things to different people. Have you ever been over to someone's house for dinner and they are eating something you've never even dreamed of purchasing at the store, much less cooking into a meal? Or maybe they made something you are familiar with, but when you cook it, you do it just slightly different. What is a normal way of cooking a specific dish or what is normal food to one person, may be completely abnormal to another.

My version of normal in my home is - send the kids to school, go to work, come home to be with the kiddos in the afternoon, work out a couple days a week, Lifegroup ever other week, an occassional sporting event, church every Sunday, dinner as a family every night . . . .

Well, my normal has been interrupted and now, in the midst of all that we are checking blood sugar levels, counting carbs, calculating insulin dosages, and switching out some of our "normal" foods with our "new normal" foods, and praying with all the belief we can muster that God is going to perform a miracle so we can go back to our "old normal."

I am a blessed woman. I have a husband who loves me and three beautiful children, who despite their incessant bickering, are really good kids. My oldest loves to read and play basketball. My youngest is a fireball who keeps us laughing and not taking life too seriously. And my son (who falls in the middle) loves God's creation and enjoys making his own creations, or as he calls them, "projects." I wonder when God created the world if He considered it a project? I guess we humans are a constant project being worked on, aren't we?!

Well, I think our "new normal" is a reflection of a project God is working on in the Norris household. I'm not sure exactly what the lesson of this project is, but I am hoping we all learn it, and learn it quickly. I don't want to have to round any more "tragedy" mountains in order to be able to say, "lesson learned!"

God, I'm trusting You to speak clearly to me. I'm working dilligently to be still and hear your voice. I know it's sad that I have to work on being still, but it's how you made me, so I'm learning that one constantly! My efforts to help Caleb are in vain if You aren't involved, leading the way. Let us all, especially Caleb, see Your mighty hand in all of this, knowing that "everything works together for good for those who love the Lord. "

To Lara, Love God . . . . .

2011-02-04T19:01:00.000-08:00

God gave me this scripture during a week of fasting regarding my place in the Children's Ministry. I felt He was telling me to hold on - it was all going to be ok, and not to give up. Little did I know that less than a week later it would mean even so much more.

On Monday, January 31st, 2011, my dear son, Caleb was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. On Thursday, February 3rd, God reminded me of what He had showed me just a week prior. This is His love note to me . . . .

"I remember it all -oh, how well I remember - the feeling of hitting the bottom. But there's one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope;

God's loyal love couldn't have run out, His merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning. How great Your faithfulness! I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over). He's all I've got left.

God proves to be good to the man who passionatley waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. It's a good thing when you're young to stick it out through the hard times.

When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions: Wait for HOPE to appear!" Lamentations 3:20-30

Lord, I am waiting for hope and I won't question Your sovereignty. I am believing for a miraculous healing in Caleb. War has been waged on my family by the enemy, but we won't back down. We are on the offensive, with You leading the march. Our heads are held high with our hope safely in Your hands.

I take it back . . . .

2011-02-01T16:56:00.000-08:00

I take it all back - my complaining of the 3 weeks in a row with sick kids. I take it ALL back. Our family was hit with a landmine yesterday-the diagnosis of Caleb with Type 1 Diabetes. He's 10. God, did you hear me? He's only 10-no kid should have to deal with this! I have all these emotions raging through me - fear, rage, worry - you name it, I'm feelin' it right now. Most of the words I want to say would be inappropriate, but I'm sure everyone has thought of a few choice words now and then. Surely I'm not alone!

So, let me backtrack. . . About 3 weeks ago when Caleb was sick, he had a virus. No flu; no strep; just a virus. He's been over it - no big deal. Well, the past 4 or 5 days Caleb has had excessive thirst. I didn't think a thing of it at first, but one night this past weekend I was reminded of a conversation about a toddler at the preschool I used to work for, who was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. She was suddenly excessively thirsty. My heart sank. I told Dennis that night we needed to get Caleb seen by a doctor. I didn't realize I should have probably done it immediately, but God's grace was sufficient and yesterday at 2:00 we were seen by our family practitioner.

Caleb did a "pee in the cup" test - which by the way he thought was hilarious! He'd never peed in a cup before. The results showed up with a lot of sugar in his urine, so then they did the finger poke. The result was "HI" which according to the meter means over 600. A normal level for sugars is 90-150 . . . Caleb was off the chart. The doctor looked at me and said, "this is not good." I knew. I knew before I took him in. God knew - that's why He reminded me of that conversation about my friend's child.

Based on the conversations I've had with the doctors, Caleb should have been in the Emergency Room. His numbers were off the charts, but he was remarkably well for as bad a shape as he was in. But, instead of the ER, favor abounded and we immediately headed to an endocrynologist who worked us into their schedule. They were fabulous! Both the doctor and nurse were Type 1 and had learned to deal with this since the 80's. We were handed glucose meters, needles, 2 different types of insulin shots, brochures . . . my head was spinning, Caleb was crying. It was awful, but through the awfulness, God's grace abounds!

When people say your life can change in an instant - they are right. I knew this, but having experienced, gives me a whole new perspective on situations my friends have gone through. I walked around in circles this morning trying to figure out what to do with myself. I'd gotten almost no sleep. The girls needed to get ready for school. Was I going to work or staying home? What to wear? Is Caleb going to school or are we going to monitor him? A cold front coming through, does everyone have jackets? Dennis is needing to get the truck to work for deliveries. Did the kids get their vitamins? Is Caleb ok? What's his blood sugar? Can he eat this? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

My stomach still turns when I look at Caleb and see hurt in his eyes. He does NOT want this. He's old enough to know how life was before, but not quite old enough to heave a big sigh and just move on. As his doctor says, "shots suck!" I feel the same way - this really sucks!

However, as bad as this sucks, I know it could be worse. I have a dear friend who lost her daughter to a virus that attacked her heart. I have another friend whose daughter had a brain tumor. She's survived, but she will never be the same as she was before. I am reminding myself to count my blessings, as they are many. My son is a blessing and I am grateful he is still here with us. We walk on a little bruised, but we are not defeated. We raise our eyes to the One who knows exactly how we feel and reach for His hand as we move forward.

Blah . . . .

2011-01-18T17:12:00.000-08:00

Blah. . . . . .

It has been about 3 weeks of sickness and doctor visits w/ the kiddos. Completely out of the norm for us! I am blessed as are my husband and kids with very little sickness and strong immune systems.

Since January hit, though, we have been hammered! Just after Christmas Rachel complained of an "ant bite". Being the all-knowing mama that I am, I told her to put some itch cream on it and went about my business. She complained off and on for about 3 days and then she actually showed me what she was talking about. This was more than an "ant bite" this was a full blown rash on both arms and both legs. UGH!

Off to the doctor and he said it was an allergic reaction to something, although it was hard to tell what. Steroids from Walgreens and off we went. A week later, it was no better and in fact spreading. YIKES! Back to the doctor. He then decided it looked like poison ivy or poison oak. More and stronger steroids and an antiobiotic so her scratching didn't get infected.

In the mean time, Rebekah got a stomach virus that had her doubled over every time she ate. Only puked once, but was in pain for almost a week. Thankfully no one else got it!

Caleb came home Friday w/ fever and sore throat. Off to Urgent care because it was after 5. No strep. No flu. Just the funk. By Monday he was better and went to school today. However, Rachel woke up with a sore throat and cough. She's doing better than Caleb did - no fever so hopefully will be at school tomorrow.

Thank you Lord for a healthy home! We are excited to be on the other side of this trial. Heal my kids and protect my family in Jesus Name! Amen!

It's Time. . . .

2011-01-02T17:47:00.000-08:00

Well, it's the start of 2011 and I feel changes in the wind, though I'm not sure exactly what they are. I've been struggling in Children's Ministry for over a year now and it's time to let someone know. I've been doing this for 12 years now and one of the main things I've learned is that when you're in leadership if you look behind you and no one is following, then you are simply talking a walk . . . . you aren't leading anything. That's how I feel right now - I feel like I'm taking a long, lonely walk and it's time to let my leadership know. Because if I'm taking a walk, I am either 1. not leading effectively or 2. attempting to lead in the wrong area. Either way, it's time for a conversation to help me see what needs to be done. I want 2011 to be an effective year for the Children's ministry in our church and if that means a change for me in my leadership skills or moving me out of the way so someone with the proper skills can take over, I'm game for whatever. There's a little fear of the "whatever" because I'm a planner, but I've jumped into the deep end of the pool with God before and He hasn't let me sink yet! Here's to a great year! (splash!)

About 20 min's after I posted, I saw this from a friend on FB: "Out of our greatest rejection comes our greatest direction. When you come to a closed door, or something doesn't work out in your life, instead of seeing that as the end, regard that as God nudging you into a better direction. Yes, sometimes it's uncomfortable; sometimes we may not like it. But we cannot make the mistake of just sitting back & settling where we are." By Joel Osteen

His Chains are Gone . . .

2011-01-01T18:50:00.000-08:00

It was Tuesday, September 28th at 6:15 AM - my phone rang, just as it had in my dreams a couple weeks earlier. It was my mom on the other end. . . . "Your Dad died" she managed to choke out those words. In that one moment I felt grief, confusion, and relief. Chris Tomlin's version of Amazing Grace immediately began playing in my head. . . . "My chains are gone, I've been set free. . . ." Those were the only words rolling through my mind. It was like I was stuck on that one sentence and couldn't get to the rest of the song.

Being stuck on that one sentence stayed with me throughout the day. This is where the relief part of my emotions came in to play. You see, my Dad's body had literally become a cage to him. His movement was limited. His mental capacity and grasp of reality was fading only to be replaced by hallucinations and irrational thoughts that mirrored the unsaved, old nature of my Dad. He was literally a prisoner inside his own body and only God Himself could release him. And release him, He did.

I began to think of all the things I had to do. We obviously would have to be heading to Nebraska within a day. Kids had to be told, but still needed to get up and get ready for school - I would wait to tell them until they got home. I pulled myself together enough to get them off to school. Then I had to get myself ready for work so I could get a week's worth of stuff done in a few hours, head to the grocery store for road trip food, do laundry and pack.

I was either numb or in denial - I think maybe I still am, though I'm not really sure. I honestly felt nothing. That sounds so callous, but it's the raw truth. I truly believe I greived the loss of my Dad back in February when he went into the nursing home. At that point I realized he was gone. He still knew who I was for the most part, but he was no longer in his home, he was all alone, and picturing him in a nursing home hurt so deeply. I know it was what he needed and it was he best choice as far as his medical care went, but that didn't help with the emotional loss of my Dad - although he was still here, we were at a point of no return and I knew it. I remember that February day - sitting on the bathroom floor sobbing like I never had before. My eyes were almost swollen shut and Dennis stared at me like I was from another planet. He'd never seen me like that either and I think it frightened him. He didn't know what to do - there was nothing he could do. This couldn't be fixed.

Back to September 28th - the grief I felt in February had mostly passed - as much as grief ever "passes". I was at the relief point. No more suffering for my dad. No more financial questions or worries about medical stuff for my mom to deal with. No more emotional roller coasters regarding Dad's care. Only freedom. Freedom from his cage - freedom from worrying about him - my Dad was truly free and with Christ. (sigh)

Dad's funeral was the first funeral my kids had ever been to. Rebekah struggled terribly as I knew she would. Rachel wondered if Grampa was just sleeping. Caleb didn't say much - he just looked around at everyone and took it all in. The song sung at Dad's funeral - Amazing Grace. It was his favorite. The shirt he wore - "I'm the wretch the song refers to." It too, was his favorite.

One thing I realized after it was all over is that my family was being watched. One of my brother's best friends said, "I've never watched a Christian family grieve." It hit me - I guess that Christians would certainly grieve differently than those that had no hope in Christ. Then I began to reflect on all the people that were there, watching and listening. The men in my Dad's life that had known him in his "sinner" days and loved him dearly, but were here NOW for the Pastor's testimony of my Dad's "saved" days and the transformation that had taken place in his heart. I stood in awe at the events that took place and the people's lives that I do believe were truly touched by Dad's testimony, for in his death God did a mighty work of seed planting into the lives of these people. I do believe with everything in me, that a harvest will come and these men who may still be in their "sinner" days, will soon come to fulfill the rest of their lives in their "saved" days.

It's a remarkable thing to be able to grieve with hope, for without it, I'm not sure how I would have handled Dad's death. God is good and Dad's chains are gone, never to be bound again.

I may write more later as there are many more details I've left out, but for now, i think you get the point.

My kiddos December 2010

2010-12-31T07:54:00.000-08:00

12/28/10 - Rachel's story

2010-12-31T07:45:00.000-08:00

The past six weeks or so, our youngest daughter, Rachel, has been having some rather out-of-the-blue fears. She went to bed one night and asked me if it was supposed to rain. I assured her I didn’t think so, tucked her in and didn’t think anything about it. About twenty minutes later, she came into my room crying. I asked her what was wrong and she told me she was afraid it was going to storm and that she was afraid of thunder and lightning. She had her arms tucked in near her body and her little fingers in her mouth like she was trying to hide from something.
Now, in the past, any time there has been a bad storm at night, she has on occasion, come into our room, but it has never been due to fear of the storm. She’s simply come in because she’s wakened from thunder or lightning and couldn’t go back to sleep. There have never been tears, though.
I assured her it wasn’t going to storm – she even asked me to go get online and check the weather. I did and showed her what it said and that it was supposed to be a clear night. When I tucked her into bed I pulled out her Bible and we read about Jesus calming the storm. I told her that Jesus didn’t want her living in fear and that He was always with us and there was nothing to be afraid of.
This series of events went on for a few nights and then finally subsided. However, we then began conversations in the car about being afraid of driving. She’s seven! She has a good 8 years before she is even eligible for a permit. She would ask me about driving and if it was scary. She’d ask me what I would do if it started raining and my windshield wipers didn’t work. She asked if I’d ever been in a car accident. She asked me if it was dangerous to drive in the rain. She asked all kinds of questions that just seemed random to me and they came almost every time we’d get into the car. None of my other two kids had gone through this phase and I was beginning to get concerned. Each time I would assure her that God didn’t want us living in fear, but rather living with trust in Him that He would take care of us. She would agree and move on . . . temporarily.
Then even stranger conversations began happening. She’d tell me her brain was telling her there wasn’t a God even though she knew there was. One night after being tucked into bed, I found her on the couch in her daddy’s lap with tears streaming down her face. I asked Dennis what was wrong and he just looked at me and shook his head – I knew to wait and he’d tell me later.
After he tucked her back in I asked what had happened. She told Dennis that she had said, “God” in her head and not in a good way. In other words, she had taken God’s name in vain in her head. She hadn’t said it, but she thought it and was concerned.
That night I went to bed mad. I realized that my daughter was under attack and by golly the devil better leave her alone or the wrath of Mama was going to seem worse than the wrath of God Himself! As I prayed for my little one, God clearly told me that the next time she brought up any of this – fear, bad thoughts, bad words, etc. that I was to talk to her about accepting Him as Lord and Savior. Rachel has believed in God forever. It’s the only way she’s been raised, so she knows no different, but even that wasn’t enough to stop the doubts and the fears coming to her tender, innocent mind. She need Jesus and she needed Him now!
Two days later as I was working on the computer Rachel approached me and asked me if I remembered the night she was sitting with her daddy on the couch crying. I told her I did. She recalled the events of the evening, the thoughts she’d had and why she had been crying. I told her that we aren’t always in control of the thoughts that go into our brains. The enemy can easily plant thoughts in our heads that are not true –if fact they are lies from the pit of hell. I told Rachel that the devil doesn’t want us to live for Jesus and go to heaven. He wants to hurt us and have us lost forever. I asked her if she knew what it meant to ask Jesus into her heart. She said no –although I’m sure she knew, just maybe not in that terminology. I asked her a few basic questions about whether or not she believed Jesus was born of Mary, died on the cross, and rose three days later. She answered yes to all of them. I asked her if she knew what sin was. She said she didn’t, but I explained that sin is the mistakes we make that go against what God teaches. I asked her if she had ever told a lie. She said yes and I let her know that lying is a sin. I asked her if she had ever said anything mean to another person. She said yes, and I told her that was a sin. I asked her if she had ever disobeyed me or her daddy. She smirked and said yes. So after a few examples of sin, I asked her if that made her a sinner. She said yes. With that simplistic explanation of sin and her belief that Jesus died on the cross to save people from their sin, we then said a simple prayer acknowledging her sin and the need for Jesus. She accepted His gift of salvation that afternoon and the angels in heaven rejoiced along with me and the rest of our family and friends!
I share that story to let you know that we have got to have our spiritual eyes and ears open. Those irrational fears and negative thoughts could easily have taken root in her life, but because God has a master plan in place, He used that awful, ugly fear to change a young girl’s heart and turn it toward Him. The enemy was after her, but what he meant for bad, My God turned around for eternal good. My entire immediate family is headed to heaven one day and that’s a glorious thing!

Book Signing

2010-08-25T19:07:00.000-07:00

I posted on Facebook a couple days ago that I 'll be doing a couple of book signings at Scripture Haven in September. I'm pretty nervous, but as one lady reminded me, "Don't be nervous - you learned how to sign your name a looooooooooong time ago!" That comment made me literally laugh out loud all by myself in the computer room.

I had a long talk with the owner of Scripture Haven the other day - who happens to be a very kind and generous man. He is concerned that I will be disappointed if I don't sell a ton of books. Honestly, I probably will be disappointed if I don't sell very many books, but I continually remind myself, this is just one step in this process. This is more about my personal growth than selling books. God's asking me to stretch myself again and even if I don't sell a book, I will have been obedient to what God has asked me to do.

Those who know me, know I don't tend to fall on the social, outgoing side of the personality profile charts. I tend to be the quiet one in the corner analyzing people as they walk by - wishing I was more outgoing, fun-loving and free-spirited. Try as I may to grow and stretch myself, the "free-spirit" within me still hides fairly deep beneath this skin. All that said, the bottom line is, talking to strangers is hard for me to do. Shoot - sometimes even talking to my friends is hard for me to do! I tend to do more of the listening than the actual conversing!

Thankfully, my husband has pushed me just enough and God keeps kicking me gently in the butt just enough that I finally set the signings. We shall see what comes of it - even if what comes is strictly a personal growth experience. I'm stepping outside of my "box" once again - Lord, please hold my hand!

Hard Lesson Learned

2010-07-24T19:32:00.000-07:00

My beautiful daughter, Rebekah has walked through a hard lesson regarding people. To be exact, she is realizing someone she loves very much is not the person she thought she was. That's a difficult spot to be in as an adult, let alone at age 11.

I must say, though, I am very proud of her for the way she has handled most of the situations she's run in to the past 3 weeks with this loved one. She's acted pretty mature for the most part and sought guidance from me when she didn't know what to do. Can I just say, how I love that she comes to me for advice! Some kids think their parents are dumb and don't know anything, but the older she gets, the more she talks to me and I absolutley CHERISH that! I talked to my mom a little bit, but not like she talks to me. It really is quite an honor. :)

I don't want to give details because they really don't matter and I don't want to talk ugly about this person. I am praying for the person that has hurt Rebekah so deeply - we love her and nothing can change that. What has changed though is the level of trust and the dynamic of the relationship. I always tell Rebekah that, "hurting people, hurt people." It breaks my heart to know that Rebekah had to walk through this. I probably could have protected her if I had really tried, but she and I have talked and she knows she had to walk through this or she wouldn't have ever understood why we were protecting her if we had chosen to take that route.

It's hard to watch your kids learn hard lessons - especially when it isn't something they have done wrong. This was a character builder for her and I am believing God will use this experience to help her be a stronger, more compassionate woman of God. She's already pretty incredible in my book, but God has great things for her and I truly believe she had to travel this road to learn to walk a little more like Christ would walk. I am proud of her for her strength on this journey.

I love you, my Rebekah Dawn!

Faith Challenge

2010-07-02T11:35:00.000-07:00

Some background: It's been on my heart to write a book about finding God in challenging situations. Back in March or April, a friend of mine who lost her 8 year old daughter 9 years ago, mentioned in front of me wanting to put her daughter's story in book form. I later offered to help her with that if she wanted it. She's taken me up on the offer which is exciting!

However, now I am truly having some faith challenges. I am currently putting the journal of events that lead up to this precious girl's death into a Word Document. As I read the faith filled, enthusiastic, life giving journal, I struggle with the fact that I already know how the story ends. It isn't a happy ending, yet through all the circumstances this family found and saw God the entire journey.

I knew this family. I loved her daughter. Our youngest has taken her name for her middle name to give honor to this family and their precious little girl. If God had chosen to heal her, she would have just turned 17. Almost an imaginable thought to picture her as a 17 year old young woman.

God - I am asking for your strength, wisdom, and insight on how to put this manuscript together. The ultimate goal is to glorify you and anything less would be counterproductiive to the goal that has been set. Give her mom and I strength and courage to face the hard things and still find Your miracle working, Sovereign, Loving presence in this writing. Let Your light and love shine all over the pages of this project and let it touch the hearts of those who also have loved and lost. In Jesus name, Amen!

USC - 12 Covenants

2010-03-29T17:05:00.000-07:00

I love this! These are the 12 Covenants that the USC football team commits to if they want to play football. I shared them last night and applied them to serving in the church. Thought I'd share:

1. We will accomplish what we do together. We share our success and we never let any one of us fail alone.
2. we are fully grown adults. We will act as such, and expect the same from the people around us.
3. We will not keep secrets. Information that affects us all will be shared by all of us and we will quickly and openly work to separate fact from fiction.
4. We will not lie to ourselves or to each other. None of us will tolerate any of us doing so. We will depend on each other for the truth.
5. We will keep our word. We will say what we mean and do what we say. We trust the word of others to be good as well.
6. We will keep our head. We will not panic in the face of tough times. We will always choose to roll up our sleeves rather than wring our hands.
7. We will develop our abilities and take pride in them. We will set our own standards higher than our most challenging opponent and we will please our fans by pleasing ourselves.
8. We will treat our locker room (church facility) like home and our teammates like friends. We spend too much time together to allow things to go bad.
9. We will be unselfish and expect that everyone else will exhibit this same quality. We will care about each other without expectations.
10. We will look out for each other. We truly believe that we are our brother's keeper.
11. We are students at USC (members of CFC), and as such we will strive to graduate(strive for excellence). We take pride in our grade point average (level of excellence) and expect our teammates to do the same.
12. Losing cannot and will not be tolerated in anything we do. There is no excuse for losing a football game at USC. (There is no excuse for losing or giving in to a battle against the enemy! Souls are at stake!)

Home Again . . .

2010-03-25T17:53:00.000-07:00

Well, my brother's family along with me and the kiddos made it safely home early Saturday morning. It was smooth sailing as far as the ride goes, but we received a phone call shortly after we entered Kansas . . . .

Apparently my Dad had grabbed one of the nurses and made an inappopriate comment to her. (I will not go into details to maintain some sort of dignity for my Dad) Anyway, my mom was in tears - she didn't believe he did it, but I wasn't sure what to think. His behavior was completely inappropriate, but could be considered a "normal" behavior for someone with Parkinson's and/or dymensia. I did my best to consol my mom, but what do you say to that? There wasn't much I could say. The nursing home wanted to move my dad to a different facility because they said they couldn't "deal" with him. I was (and still am) of the opinion that people in nursing homes with mental issues (Parkinson's, dymensia, altzheimers, etc) tend to normally show "abnormal" or inapporiate behaviors and that being in nursing home care, it's just part of the deal. I felt like it was "one strike" and he was out.

It was the weekend though, so nothing would happen until Monday. Well, on Monday Mom called again and he did the same thing to another nurse - now, we had to admit that he really did in fact do these things though after my mom talked to him, he had no recollection of either incident and said he would never do what had been described. We knew that, but obviously the medicine or the disease was causing these irrational behaviors.

Yesterday my dad was transferred to Omaha to a facility to help wean him off his current Parkinson's medicine and try to find a different one that may work better. They were very helpful and kind according to my mom. She was at a point of giving up on the med's and just letting him be, but they feel it is worth one more shot at finding something to help with his thinking processes and eliminate his hallucinations and vividly morbid dreams. The facility tries to only keep people 7-10 days and then returns them to the nursing home they came from. There is a chance that it will take longer because Parkinson's patient's med's can be difficult to stabilize, but we'll see how this goes.

My mom had to go back home, so Dad is 5 hours away from Mom and I feel a million miles away from both of them.

Please be in prayer for my Dad - that the doctors will figure out what the best course of action is for him. Please be in prayer for my Mom - that she would be strong in the Lord and confident in the decisions she has to make for my Dad. Please pray for peace in my entire family as we walk through this hard time knowing though that we are not walking alone.

Heading North . . . .

2010-03-10T18:26:00.000-08:00

Well, Friday afternoon I leave with the kiddos and my brother's family to head to Nebraska to see my parents and my Grama. This will be the first time I've seen my dad, not at his home, but in a nursing home. I am praying that I can be strong for the kids and not break down in front of them. This is one of those moments you pray never comes, but you know is inevitable.

Watching your parents go through things like this is, in fact, in the natural order of things. It really doesn't make it much easier though. Now, I've never lost a child, and I pray I never do - I have a dear friend that lost her 8 year old daughter . . . that's NOT in the natural order of things, so I imagine that to be exponentially more difficult than this.

The thing is, I have been very sheltered from death in my family. People have died, but it's been great-uncles/aunts and one Grama. That was in the natural order of things too. I think I am struggling with my dad so much because he's still pretty young - he's 67 - not the average age of a person in nursing home care. Heck, I have an employee at Batteries Plus that's 72 and he can outwork some of my young employees!

I know fairness has nothing to do with life, but I still struggle with the "fair" thing. It's not fair! He wasn't a drinker (occassional, but not a lush - and not at all the past 15 years), he wasn't a smoker, he was a great dad and a great provider for our family.

I could stand before God and argue until I was blue in the face, but the bottom line is - God is in control and He is not surprised by my dad's condition nor my frustration, anger and sadness.

I thank God often for the fact that my dad turned his life around about 11 years ago. If it wasn't for that - I don't know what I'd do or how I'd be reacting to all this. But I do know - I have hope - that one day, my dad will be free from the cage of his body, without pain, confusion, and frustration. One day, I will see him again healed and whole and free.

I love you dad!

Struggling . . . .

2010-02-20T05:16:00.000-08:00

I got word yesterday that my Dad is officially in a nursing home from this point forward. It's been an up and down sort of a deal because of his behavior on medications, his ability to still walk around and "function" and the struggle of my mom wanting to be able to care for him, but not fully being able to anymore.

At first the nursing home wasn't sure they could handle caring for him because he can still walk around and go do some things on his own and often he will go into other people's rooms, try to leave, etc. The other day he took someone else's glasses insisting they were his and wouldn't give them back. His own glasses . . . . yeah - they were on his face, but there was no convincing him. He has hallucinations, but at this point they aren't violent or anything like that. He sees people. He sees me, my brother, old friends, strangers. . . . . At this point, the good and bad news is, his behavior right now is probably at its worst. There will be a time when he can't get up and move around and that will actually make it easier on the staff at the nursing home. It isn't really good news, but it will make the staff's daily challenges a little less.

Parkinson's is an ugly disease and I hate that my Dad is struggling with this. I hate that my Mom is now alone, traveling the roads between where my Grama is staying and where my Dad now is. I hate that they are so far away. I hate watching my strong, stoic Dad disintegrate.

We are going to Nebraska over spring break and it will be a difficult visit to stay at my parent's house without my Dad there. It's going to be hard on my kids . . . it's going to be hard on me.

I broke down last night for the first time. I cried like I haven't cried in years. My eyes still have the puffy evidence of that cry this morning.

I know this life is temporary and one day my Dad will be free from the chains of Parkinsons. In the meantime, I take one step at a time, hoping I can be strong for my mom and my kids and that God will hold me up. I don't like struggling. I don't like it at all.

Live Like You Were Dying . . .

2010-02-15T16:04:00.001-08:00

At church we've started a small group series titled, Live Like You Were Dying. This series is based off the song by Tim McGraw. It's a 4 week series that focuses on living your life to the fullest - with no regrets. This week our Pastor spoke on speaking more sweetly and MAN was I challenged this morning with that . . . and it's only Monday!

I got my kids up and moving this morning as usual. They get 45 minutes to get ready - which they really only need about 30, but I give them that extra slow moving, lack of focus, distraction time just in case. Well, this morning I looked at the clock and they were supposed to be out the door ready to go in 10 minutes. I looked at the kids and looked back at the clock and went into panic mode. One was still in PJs, hair a mess, and didn't have her teeth brushed. My son, was barefoot, hadn't brushed teeth, cleaned his glasses and wasn't sure where his coat was. It's moments like this that speaking sweetly does not come naturally! I kept hearing Pastor's sermon in my head and I struggled with how to light a fire under their butts by speaking nicely. I probably failed miserably, but I did try not to sound like a raging lunatic. I think that's progress. Not perfection, but progress.

I hope that's all Jesus is asking of me as I can never reach perfection, but I am working on being more like Him this week with my words. The goal is to make this week's challenge into a new and improved lifestyle.

God help me!

Fire Breathing Dragon

2010-02-02T05:26:00.000-08:00

The oddest thing happened last night . . . . I took some echinacea because I've been feeling a bit run down and I have too much to do this week to be sick! Anyway, you know how you take a pill and sometimes it feels like it just doesn't go all the way down? Well, it felt that way, so I drank some more water and didn't really think anything about it. I was having a conversation with my man, when I . . . . well, I burped. . . . the next thing I know my nose is burning and Dennis' eyes just about bug out of his head. Apparently the outer casing of the pills had dissolved, but there was still poweder from the pills in my gullet somewhere. This dark green powder came rolling out my nose. Dennis said I looked like a smoking dragon! After the burning stopped, he and I got to laughing. What a weird thing! Making' memories! LOL

"Snooze Button" . . . A funny story told by Dennis

2010-01-03T18:33:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning, (Saturday, January 2nd @ 6:30am) I went into Rachel's room to wake her up. She likes to get up slowly! As I was rubbing her back and head to no avail, I began to get more rough. At some point she passes out of "coma" and into "fake sleep." She pretended to not notice that I was shaking her like a rag doll. When she finally realized that I was not going away anytime soon, she began to feel her way around my head with her eyes completely shut. She checked out every portion of my face with her fingers until my curiosity arose enough to wonder what she was looking (feeling) for so unsuccessfully. So, I asked her:
"Rachel, WHAT are you doing?"

Her response (in an annoyed 14 year old gruff voice):

"Just look'n for the SNOOZE button!"

That was the funniest thing I'd heard all month coming from a 6 year old that has never even USED a snooze button! I didn't even know she knew what one was let alone have the intuitive reflex to look for one on her assailant's head! The last of my little ones . . . I cherish her silliness and will miss this stage immensly!

Fall pictures at Central Park

2009-12-29T17:48:00.000-08:00

Went to Central Park the other day and tried to catch some good pictures of the kiddos. . . The last one is my favorite!

All Finished!

2009-12-28T20:15:00.000-08:00

Well, I am completely finished with my book and am currently waiting on the 5 free copies I am supposed to receive. Some friends and family have already ordered the book, which is currently available on Amazon.com and Barnesandnoble.com. The title is, Brushstrokes.

I don't know where this journey will take me. It still may very well just be a test of obedience, it could be more. Only God knows that and I just pray I can hear His voice and obey whatever the calling is.

It's been quite a ride!

http://tinyurl.com/ydpshh5

Almost Ready for the Editor

2009-09-08T13:38:00.000-07:00

For those that have been following the journey of my book, I believe it is ready to be sent to an editor.

Dennis did some research and has found a publishing company that will allow you to self publish a book w/0 having to commit to purchasing a couple thousand right off the starting block. They print books on demands for customers whether they want 1 book or 2oo books, they will do it. I get to keep 100% of the rights to my book, so if I ever choose to take the book to a different publisher, I can. We will see what happens.

The trick is finding the right editor. I've been in contact with one that is cheap. Cheap isn't always good, but her resume looks good, so we will see. I've turned my book over to a couple more people to get their insight and input to see if I've missed the big picture in an area. After I hear from them, I will proceed with editing. The editor commits to finishing the editing within 3 weeks, if I remember correctly. It can take 1 1/2 - 3 months for publishing to be finished.

I am a little nervous about the whole thing, but all I've lost is the time spent on it and even in that, the process has stretched me personally and spiritually, so really, nothing is lost.

I will keep you posted on the next phase of this adventure!

An Interesting Journey of Obedience . . .

2009-07-25T14:50:00.000-07:00

I have been keeping a journal of some intersting happenings since shortly after the kids got out of school. Some of the dates are estimates as I didn't keep track immediately until I started noticing what was happening . . .

Beginning of June(ish): The whisper of direction for my life came early this month. I feel I am to write a book. I don't know what the topic will be, but I have said, "yes" to God and trust He will enlighten me on the topic soon. He has been working with me on choosing obedience, so I am going to obey.

June 13: God gave me the title of my book in church today. It will be called Brushstrokes though the topic is still unclear.

June 20: My dear friend Fanette told me today that God showed her I was being elevated to new things in my life if I would just step up on the platform and do what God told me to do. It was very humbling and a little scary. She has no idea at this point that I feel I am to write a book. I will be obedient and write this book, but I still don't know the topic. I am believing God will reveal it to me during my trip to LA. I have copied some pages from my blog to get the juices and ideas flowing.

June 27: God did not reveal the topic to me during my trip. :(

July 1: God gave me the topic today and my husband laughed out loud. The book is to be on obedience! Ugh . . . Not a "feel good" topic at all! This should be interesting!

July 6: Fanette came over today with tears in her eyes and gave me a worship CD that she had made at home for herself. After listening to it, God told her to give it to me. It is powerful and inspiring! I am absorbing it as I try to write.

July 10: I finished the first chapter this evening. As I was taking a shower, I was talking to God about authors and how it often takes years for books to come together. Before I could consiously have the thought of how long it might actually take me to get this thing written, He told me I had 3 weeks. Three Weeks! As impossible and ridiculous as that sounds, God reminded me of something one of the leaders said at the LA conference, "God doesn't ask us to do hard things; He asks us to do the impossible!" Well, He has!

July 11: Chapter 2 finished and Chapter 3 started!

July 12: God said to rest! I am starting a fast today as I need divine guidance for this project along with a financial breakthrough at Batteries Plus.

July 13: Chapter 3 finished!

July 14: Chapter 4 finished - these may be the shortest chapters in the history of chapter books!

July 17 & 18: Working on Chapters 5 and 6. Things are slowing down as far as ideas go. I ended my fast this weekend due to a family get together.

July 23: Chapter 7 done.

July 25: Working on a summary. Not sure if I'm finished or not. Oh my gosh! I just remembered that Pastor spoke on the #7 at leadership last week. It is the number of completion. Maybe I am finished and this week will be spent fine tuning grammar, expanding where necessary, etc. We will see!

July 26: Text a friend to see if I should give a copy to Pastor to look at since he has connections with people who have written books. The friend said they had connections too and that she and her husband would be happy to read it.

July 27: Added a paragraph to one of the chapters, but still feel I am basically finished with my initial draft.

July 28: Handed the book over to a friend and e-mailed it to my mom. Still praying for God's direction in what comes next - additions to the book, divine connections, etc.

Aug. 4: My friend said she loved the book - thought it was an important topic that had the potential to be freeing at the same time. She didn't think I was finished though. Suggested I put more of "me" into it. Praying for God to bring some personal stories to my memory that fit with this topic that will not just be stories, but be an impacting witness to God's amazing hand at work.

August 26: I've spent the last couple weeks expanding the book and putting more of myself into it. Dennis thinks he's found a company that will allow me to self-publish without the commitment of thousands of books purchased up front. I am currently e-mailing/interviewing a potential editor. We will see what happens next!

God Awareness . . .

2009-07-08T15:43:00.001-07:00

Last night at our monthly women's meeting we listened to a video by Priscilla Shirer on being fully aware that God is right next to us. He will continually communicate with us if we would only listen and make an honest effort to be aware of Him and His presence. In my journey to be more in tune to what He is saying so I can be fully obedient to what He is asking me to do, this really made an impact on me. You know, most of the time we are obedient in the big stuff. We follow the 10 commandments the best we can, but are we listening to His whisper of daily things He has for us to accomplish? Maybe, but probably not completely. My goal is to become so aware of what He is saying that it is natural for me to just do it rather than contemplate whether He is asking me to do something or if it is just an idea I came up with. The other day we had some new neighbors move in and I felt like I was supposed to make some zucchini bread for them and go introduce our family to them to welcome them to the neighborhood. I contemplated this for days, but knew I was supposed to do it. After about a week, I finally made the bread, but something came up that night and I didn't take it to them. The next day I was going to run an errand, I left the house and realized I forgot my phone. I came back to the house, grabbed my phone, and it was as if that loaf of bread was taunting me. "Take me to the neighbors!" I stood in the middle of the kitchen contemplating taking it right then or waiting until the entire family was together. After arguing with myself on whether or not I was going to finally obey what I'd been told, I grabbed the bread, took the kids out of the car, and we went over to this family's house. This seems so ridiculously small, but in delaying my obedience, I was disobedient. I tell my kids that all the time, but I can't even follow my own rule! I ask them, "what is delayed obedience?" They respond, "disobedience." I'm sure as I travel down this road there will be more delayed obedience moments, but the goal is to get rid of them completely. I want to quit justifying that it's my idea or wondering if it is really God. If it's a good thought why even wonder whose thought it is? Obviously if you are married and the thought involves a significant amount of money, there should be prayerful discussion with a spouse, but making a loaf of bread and taking it to a neighbor should just be an immediate, "Yes, Lord! I will gladly do that!"

LA - God Chick's Conference

2009-07-01T11:12:00.001-07:00

Into Eternity

2009-05-23T13:43:00.000-07:00

Life is but a fleeting moment in time; a vapor;
An infinitely small speck in God's vast creation.
The forces of Light and Dark fight for your life, your soul, your spirit man.
Spiritual warfare wages in the Heavenlies and manifests itself on Earth.
Chaos consumes the mind.
But, if you listen, the still small voice of Father God is speaking to your heart.
"Walk with me. I love you. I created you. Salvation is through me."
The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.
The battlefield in the mind is confusing.
You're torn between here and there.
Will you take a chance; make a stand for Christ?
What will you do?
Where will you spend eternity?
Heaven or Hell? The choice is yours.
Whom will you serve?
Make the decision before it's too late,
And your heartbeat fades away. . .
Into Eternity.

Light Your Candle . . .

2009-04-17T14:19:00.000-07:00

I was lighting a candle yesterday - something I don't do very often because, well, if I burn them, then I have to pay to replace them. Yes, I know, I'm cheap, but that's not my point today!

Anyway, as I was lighting the candle, God showed me a comparison between candles and people. Most people have candles for two reasons - 1 because they are pretty and 2 because they smell good. Now, you can smell a candle up close without it being lit, but the fragrance doesn't go very far. But, when you light the candle, the perimiter of the aroma is much greater - one candle can make an entire house smell good, thus making it more effective in it's purpose.

How similar are we when we think about showing the love of Christ to others. If we truly want to share the Good News of Jesus we have to allow the light of His love to shine through us. If we keep quiet about salvation we might look pretty on the outside like an unlit candle, but the full potential of our purpose will never be realized and many people won't hear the hope of Jesus Christ.

What if the person that shared Christ with you had never "lit their candle" and kept the gospel to themselves? They'd be "heaven bound", but where would you be? The goal of the Great Commission is to get the gospel to the entire world - it's going to take a lot of lit candles to get the aroma of hope and salvation that far.

I challenge you, if your candle isn't lit, go find a lighter and light your candle. Someone needs to see and hear the Good News - you might be just the one God wants to use to reach a neighbor, a co-worker, a family memeber, or a dear friend.

President Obama - "we do not consider ourselves a Christian nation . . . "

2009-04-09T17:28:00.000-07:00

On April 6th, President Obama, while in Turkey said about America, "is ... we have a very large Christian population -- we do not consider ourselves a Christian nation or a Jewish nation or a Muslim nation. We consider ourselves a nation of citizens who are bound by ideals and a set of values."

Now, in theory, I think I understand what he was attempting to say . . . and that is that America is a melting pot where all kinds of people, no matter what their faith, can come together and live in peace. Now, I don't guess I should be assuming to know what the President is trying to say. What I do know is this, he basically denounced God and tromped on the values and principles this country was founded on. We may not have Christianity as the national religion - that would go against the Constitution, however, the mere fact that he had the audacity to play down the role of our heritage and where the ideals and values he spoke about came from is incomprehensible and almost unforgiveable to me.

I was reading in Psalms the next night and found these verses, "Why the big noise, nations? Why the mean plots, peoples? Earth-leaders push for position, Demagogues and delegates meet for summit talks. The God-deniers, the Messiah-defiers: "Let's get free of God! Cast loose from Messiah!" Heaven-throned God breaks out laughing. At first He's amused at their presumption; Then He gets good and angry. Furiously, He shuts them up: "Don't you know there's a King in Zion? A coronation banquet is spread for him on the holy summit." So, rebel-kings, use your heads; Upstart-judges, learn your lesson: Worship God in adoring embrace, Celebrate in trembling awe. Your very lives are in danger, you know; His anger is about to explode. But if you make a run for God - you won't regret it!"Psalm 2:1 - 6, 10 - 12

As a nation, I think we better do a pretty quick 180 degree turn back to God from where we are headed or we will indeed regret that!

Mr. Chet Edwards, Sir . . .

2009-04-02T17:11:00.000-07:00

My husband, Dennis, just received a response letter from you regarding his encouragement of you to not vote for the stimulus bill. I find a few things interesting in your response. First of all, Congress and Senate is to be a voice for the people in the state in which they serve, not a platform to push through your own opinions. You wrote, "I respect those who might have honest disagreements with MY views on the economy or my votes on how to get our economy back on it's feet." Texas voted against Obama in this election 55% to 44% - you might want to pay attention to that.

Second, you discussed voting against the deregulation of Wall Street. You wrote, "If some businesses and banks are considered 'too big to fail', then they must either be far more effectively regulated or simply not allowed to become so big in the first place." It is NOT the government's job to run banks or businesses. That is the job of the private sector. If they fail, they fail. Will it be tough, ABSOLUTELY, however, I bet they learn their lesson. It's just like a kid who keeps making the same stupid mistakes over and over again. Tough love works - maybe that approach should be taken with banks and businesses.

Sir, you are gambling by borrowing against MY 3 kid's futures. It was a gamble far too risky to take. You need to listen to the voice of Texans, because most of them are not in agreement with trillions of dollars of debt. We are on a slippery slope to socialism and you are taking us there if you don't take a hands off approach to healthcare, the banking system, the car industry, etc. Free enterprise works and our founding father's would be sick at their stomachs if they could see where this country is headed. I highly recommend you rent the movie series called "John Adams". It is a painfully close resemblance of where exactly we are today. Then, think again about the philosophies you stand for.

EXTREME MAKEOVER Norris Edition

2009-03-24T19:23:00.000-07:00

OH MY GOSH!!! That is all I could say over, and over, and over again when I came home from my Nebraska trip this past Saturday.

My husband, while I was out of town, got together with my best Friends - Kimberly and Fanette, our Pastor Janet, and a few other friends to redo our entire living room and kitchen area. The floors have been tiled and the rest has been rearranged and/or redone.

We had been talking about laying tile because of allergy issues in our home, so we thought this would be a wise move. However, the make-over part was completely and totally a surprise.

Thank you baby, for making me feel so loved!

What happened to inspiring people?

2009-02-20T14:56:00.000-08:00

Barack Obama is my president. He is your president. If you live in America, whether or not you voted for him, he is our designated leader at this point in time.

That said, over the past month, I have been listening to him speak to the people of this great nation and all I hear is negativity. If I had a dollar for every time he said the words "catastrophe" and "crisis" this past month, I would be a wealthy woman. What ever happened to leading by example, by inspiration, and true hope. President Obama ran on "hope" and people bought into that vision of hope. Yet, when we listen to him speak now, there is no hope, it's all doom and gloom and how bad off we are.

I know Who I put my hope in. It isn't people, or policies, or projects, it is in the Lord Who created this great planet and on Whom this nation is founded.

I pray President Obama chooses to change his language and speak hope into the people of this day. I don't need the President to tell me how things are over and over and over again. State the facts and then let's move forward. Right now, he is stating the facts, but not giving vision for the future. The Bible said that without a vision people perish.

People keep comparing Obama to FDR. FDR tried to help the country out of recession/depression with the New Deal. Now, for the most part, the New Deal didn't work, but FDR was a person who spoke positively. He inspired the people of the day to look ahead, not give up, and not fear. Sadly, this president is choosing not to inspire.

President Obama, I ask you to cast vision. Speak with passion. Share the hope you promised.

The Fairness Doctrine - or should I say, the Censorship Doctrine

2009-02-17T18:43:00.000-08:00

Here's a letter I've sent to both Senators and Congressman Chet Edwards . . .

I am hearing more and more lately about the possiblility of the Fairness Doctrine trying to be put back into place. I beg of you, not to vote in favor of anything that even remotely resembles the fairness doctrine.

This idea completely goes against free speach. All people have the same opportunity to be heard on tv, radio, or the internet - that's what is already fair. If they choose not to be heard through those outlets, that's their choice, but forcing radio, tv, or internet to have equal time on both sides truly becomes bondage and not freedom at all.

As a citizen who loves this country and the freedoms it stands for, I am asking again that if this issue comes up, you not support it in any fashion.

Thank you!
Lara Norris
College Station, TX

Leadership Excerpt from Andy Stanley

2009-02-07T18:28:00.000-08:00

It was my turn to give the devotion before Children's Church and with all the crazy stuff going on in our country, this seemed an appropriate topic . . .

The Next Generation Leader
By Andy Stanley
(Ch. 13 paraphrased)

p. 131 “character is not essential to leadership”

- That may be a surprising statement at first, but I think this statement has been shown quite clearly this week. We have an Olympic swimmer who has “fallen from grace” with the picture of him smoking pot. We have people on Capitol Hill leading who have not paid taxes. The previous Illinois Governor has been impeached . . .and I’m sure most of us have had a boss or employer at some point who has had character flaws, yet they were still in charge.

p. 131 So, “character is not essential to leadership . . . but character is what makes you a leader worth following.”

p. 133 “Character is the will to do what’s right even when it’s hard. Character is about will because it requires a willingness to make tough decisions – decisions that sometimes run contrary to emotion, intuition, economics, current trends, and in the eyes of some, common sense. . . . As a next generation leader you must decide ahead of time what is nonnegotiable as it relates to right and wrong.”

P 134 “Character involves doing what’s right because it’s the right thing to do – regardless of the cost.”

p. 138/139 “Leading with character is not about doing right to avoid consequences. Leaders worth following do the right thing because it is the right thing. Virtue is not a means to an end. It is the end. . . . Leaders worth following acknowledge that their leadership skills and successes never give them the right to replace what God has put in place.”

p. 139 “Every leader wears two badges: one visible, one invisible. The visible badge is your position and title. (servant leader, captain, team leader, director, or pastor) The invisible badge is your moral authority. . . Your position will prompt people in your organization to lend you their hands on a temporary basis. But your moral authority will inspire them to lend you their hearts.”

- Isn’t that what we want in ministry – servant leaders who aren’t just lending a temporary hand, but are inspired to serve with their hearts?!

p. 140 “Moral authority is the credibility you earn by walking your talk. It is the relationship other people see between what you claim to be and what you really are. . . Alignment between belief and behavior makes a leader persuasive. You can manage people without moral authority, But you cannot influence them. . . John Maxwell was right when he said that people have to buy into the leader before they will buy into the vision. It is your moral authority that opens the door for the people around you to buy into your vision. You can pay people to work for you based on your position alone, but you cannot involve people in a cause or a movement without moral authority.”

When Dennis and I first became members of Covenant Family church, we had to “buy into” Pastors Danny and Janet before we bought into the vision of the church. It wasn’t until we did that, that we began to serve and help in Student Ministry. Then when we started serving in ministry, we had to buy into the people leading us before we bought into the specific ministry vision. People need to buy into you before their hearts will be inspired to buy into the vision of your area. Be that leader with influence. Don’t just have the “title badge”, wear the invisible badge of moral authority. It’s not always the easiest road, but it is an adventurous path worth taking.

As I was praying this morning, God also reminded me to make sure I am looking to Him for the perfect example of moral Authority. He will never let us down or make a mistake. People make mistakes. We have all fallen short or we wouldn't need Christ. So, don't put people on a pedestal where they don't belong. It's ok to have leaders you are following; in fact it's necessary to move forward in this life. Just remember, we are all human and Christ is the Ultimate example of a True Leader.

Letter to Senator John Cornyn

2009-01-21T13:41:00.000-08:00

I found out this morning that the only Senator opposed to blindly handing over Hillary's appointment was one of our Texas senators, John Cornyn. I am so proud to have him in Washington! On his website, you can e-mail concerns or comment on issues @ http://cornyn.senate.gov/public/index.cfm?FuseAction=Contact.Home
Here's what I told him - it's short and to the point!

1. Thank you for standing up and voicing concern about the Clinton's and Hillary's appointment. It's nice to know that someone up there doesn't have "group think"!
2. I am severely opposed to Gov't funding for abortions! If Obama feels the need for Gov't to finance anything - finance helping families adopt, not destroying babies. Abortion is a moral issue, not a political issue, just as slavery was. All human life, no matter race or age is valuable. Abortion should be abolished.
3. I am for the fair tax!
4. I am opposed to the "fairness doctrine" - that is a political term for "sensorship" and I don't like it.
5. I am a free market capitalist - not a socialist. Don't let the government turn this society into France. I'm sure France is a nice place to visit, but I don't want to live there.

Senator, please be encouraged! Please continue to stand up for what is right. There are far too few true leaders willing to fight the good fight. There are people out there, like myself, who have true conservative values and believe in the free market system. I value the vision our founding fathers had and I feel that vision is slowly fading away.

Keep the faith! Stand Strong!

Lara Norris

Here We Go . . .

2009-01-21T07:43:00.001-08:00

So, I just turned on the radio and heard that our new President is ready to repeal the abortion laws that President Bush put in place. In other words, President Barak Obama wants to allow Government money to help fund abortions.

I personally feel that abortion is a moral issue just like slavery was. It isn't a personal right and it most definitely shouldn't be government sponsored! Life should be valued from beginning to end, no matter how young or old, no matter what color your skin. Life is given and should be taken only by our Mighty Creator.

I think governement has no place in this issue as far as funding goes, but if Barak Obama truly wants to lower the rate of abortions and feels the government must help financially, how about a federally funded program to help families adopt rather than paying them to help kill their babies.

I fear this is just the beginning of even more severe moral decline for this country.

It truly makes me sick to my stomach and saddens me at my core.

Sick and Tired of the Wimps in Washington

2009-01-18T18:32:00.000-08:00

First off, let me state straight up - I am not a political guru by any stretch of the imagination! This year however, I have become almost obsessed with the lack of moral values, character, and plain common sense of our so called leaders.

I think so much of this was noticed in the race for the White House. I am a huge Sarah Palin fan, simply because the lady has class, character, and courage. She also has common sense - something that so many people these days lack, not only in politics, but in life in general. She is an independent thinker; believes in what our founding fathers stood for, and fights for her people, not her platform.

This year, all the democrats and most of the republicans disappointed me. Now, as President Elect Obama is placing his team together, I'm even more outraged at our leaders for not calling "foul"! For insance, I am in awe at the harrassment, and downright meanness of the liberal media toward "Joe the Plumber". He was raked over the coals for having $3000 in back taxes that he says he didn't know he owed. Should he pay up? Absolutely - and I don't think he ever argued that point. But then there's Tim Geithner - the man Obama is appointing as Secretary of Treasury. He has over $34,000 of back taxes and the democrats are calling it a "mistake". And, the media isn't grilling him - they aren't even questioning it! And this is a potential leader in our country. This whole thing just has me puzzled, and quite frankly, pissed off.

I find it appalling the lack of moral character that is required anymore. I fear this great country has seen it's greatest days unless we learn to stand up, be heard, and uphold what is right. I keep hearing a song in my head by Casting Crowns:
"It's a slow fade when you give yourself away. It's a slow fade when black and white have
turned to gray. Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid, When you give
yourself away. People never crumble in a day."
I think the same could be said for countries or kingdoms - they never crumble in a day. It's a slow fade when we choose to take prayer out of schools, allow abortions, gay marriages, socialistic ideas. . . shall I go on? Over the years, it has been a slow fade. America is giving herself away and only a very few see it.

I see it . . . and it is unsettling. I have 3 beautiful kids whom I want to have the opportunity to grow up in a free, God-fearing society. That opportunity is slowly fading. It's my job to instill those priciples in them, stand up for what's right, and teach them moral and ethical responsibility along with character and integrity in their choices. I hope and pray that they have courage to stand up for what's right. I also pray that as we move forward as a country that conservative values are reignited. That won't happen though unless we communicate with our leaders. Send letters to your congressmen. Don't water down your values to "go with the flow". Walk out your faith to the best of your ability and let God shine through you. Change can come - but it's going to have to start wtih me and with you. Then it will flow into our families and overflow into the communities. That's change we can believe in!

Give Me A Revelation, Show Me What to Do . . .

2009-01-03T19:08:00.000-08:00

The Christian music group "Third Day" has a song out called, Revelation. It's been out for a few months, but it seems to really be hitting me in the gut right now.

I posted a few months ago about not really being sure where I fit into the whole Batteries Plus thing. Back in September, the church called me and said they were looking to hire someone to work 20 hours a week doing Children's Ministry stuff along with some other miscellaneous tasks. I was glad to have an opportunity to do something different. The job could start in 2 weeks or begin after the first of the year. . . they weren't 100% sure. Dennis was excited for me and said to take it. As the semester moved along, I began to feel extremely uneasy about working at the church, which made no sense to me at all. I've always wanted to be on staff at our church. I love the people and what we do and why not get paid to work doing what you love and believe in? I started talking to Dennis over the course of a few weeks just to try and sort through why there was no peace in this decision. I finally verbalized to him that I felt going to the church, at least at this point in time, didn't feel like the right decision. He didn't question me, but said I needed to call our Children's Pastors immediately. I did so and they still love me. I feel bad that it's taken this long to get to a point of realizing that direction, for whatever reason, was wrong at this time. I still am puzzled by the whole thing, but feel at peace with the decision.

That said, God: Give me a revelation. Show me what to do, 'cause I've been trying to find my way and I haven't got a clue. Tell me should I stay here or do I need to move. Give me a revelation. I've got nothing without You. - Third Day

I don't know, maybe this is an obedience test. Maybe it has something to do with the challenges Caleb's had at school and I'm going to need to be more available for him. Maybe I'm still supposed to stand alongside my man rather than cheer from the sidelines. Maybe the timing is just off. No matter what it is, I feel at peace with the decision and that's a great way to begin this new year.

I love You, God and I fully trust you with my future. For I know the plans you have for me; plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

One Ticked off Mama!

2008-12-09T15:15:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been so angry you can hardly see straight?! That has happened to me today. Mama Bear is protecting one of her cubs today. Below is the e-mail sent to one of my kid's teachers. I will leave the name of the teacher off for privacy reasons. . .

Mrs. _____________,

Rebekah informed me today that she needed her inhaler while in your class and you wouldn’t let her go to the nurse to get it. She said after a little bit, when you saw a tear rolling down her face, you allowed her to go get a drink of water, but not her inhaler.

If you look at her medical card, it is on file that she has an inhaler in the nurse’s office to be used “as needed”. Rebekah can develop asthmatic symptoms when the weather changes – especially when cold fronts come through. Rebekah doesn’t like taking medicine. . . especially needing to use her inhaler. She’s probably only been to the nurse 3 times this whole year to use it, so I’m guessing she wasn’t trying to get out of doing work or anything of that sort.

I am extremely upset that she was not allowed to go use it. I’m not sure what was going on in the classroom that was more important than her being able to breathe properly. Even if you felt she didn’t really need it, that decision is between the nurse, Rebekah, her doctor, and me.
Just so you are aware, I’ve informed Rebekah that if she truly needs her inhaler and any teacher tells her she can’t go use it, to respectfully tell the teacher she is going to need to disobey, then proceed straight to the office, tell (the principal) what she’s done and that she needs her inhaler and a parent called immediately.

If you have any questions regarding her health, I’d be happy to answer them.

Respectfully,

Lara Norris

Is it a little harsh. . . probably, but you dont' mess with Mama Bear's cubs!

History has been Made . . .

2008-11-06T15:17:00.000-08:00

It didn't matter whether the Democrats or the Republicans won the election, history would be made either way. The first African American president or the first female vice president - either outcome, historical.

This year, history was made by Barack Obama. Our first African American president-elect. There is some pride I feel that our country has evolved far enough that we've now removed the lid as far as possiblities go. No more can anyone say, "it can't be done" because it has indeed been done.

There is also some sadness I feel. I was not an Obama supporter as I felt his policies didn't line up with my conservative beliefs. For that matter, much of what John McCain stood for didn't line up with my conservative beliefs - they were closer, though. I have to admit I'm a bit nervous to see where President-Elect Obama will take this country. I fear it will lead to bigger government and less individual responsibility and ingenuity. This is not what our Forefathers envisioned.

I was reading an article the other day that Dennis showed me. I'd like to share it:

Alex Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh at the time of America's birth, wrote a warning to America in 1787. He observed that the average age of the world's greatest civilizations was about 200 years, during which they inevitably progressed through the following sequence:

- from bondage to faith,
- from faith to courage,
- from courage to liberty,
- from liberty to abundance,
- from abundance to complacency,
- from complacency to apathy,
- from apathy to dependence, and
- from dependence back to bondage.

What is the problem with this? According to Professor Tyler, the next step from dependence is back into bondage. It's like the proverbial frog in the pan of water. Initially, he could easily leap to freedom, but if the water temperature is incrementally increased, the frog will eventually be boiled alive without even realizing it.

Consider the history of America as you look at the above cycle. I think this day and age, as a whole, we are in the "apathy" stage. Because of our apathy, turning from God, removing morals, lack of work ethic, and not fully educating ourselves on the current issues at hand, we are now headed to a government run, welfare program that will send us to the "dependence" stage and ultimately back into bondage.

With that said, though it's time for conservatism to make a unified comeback to break this cycle!

God, please help us turn our hearts back to You. For in You, we find our true freedom!

Present . . . Present . . . Present

2008-11-01T15:34:00.001-07:00

God gave this line of thought to me the other morning . . .

As a former educator, words tend to fascinate me.

Take a look at this word: PRESENT
What is this word? How do you say it? What does it mean?

Actually, depending on how it’s used, it has 3 different meanings and can be 3 different parts of speech.

adj. Now going on – not the future, not the past, but the present
v. to introduce or to give – to present
n. a gift – a present

Ex. On this present day and time I am going to present you with a present.

Now, let’s take a look at this scripture:

"Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship."
Romans 12:1 NAS

This scripture uses the word “present” in the verb form – to introduce or to give. We are to introduce (or give) our bodies as a holy sacrifice that is acceptable to God.

But, what if we took it a step further and thought of our bodies, talents, and sacrifices as a “present” in the noun form – as a gift. Shouldn’t our spiritual service of worship be a sacrificial gift or a present to God?

And why do we often feel like we have to wait until “perfect timing” (which never happens) to do what we know we’ve been called to do; shouldn’t we do it right now – in this present time – not wait until we are better at something or the timing is more right etc.

Now, I am not trying to add to the scriptures, so please don’t read more into what this scripture is really saying. But, what I want is for you to remember when you see the word “present” next time you read or hear this Bible verse, remember the 3 meanings of the word “present”
ie – Give your gift now!

Remember, what we are doing today (in the present) is giving or presenting ourselves as a living and holy sacrificial present, acceptable to God, which is our spiritual service of worship.

See and value yourself and your abilities that God gave you as He values you and your giftings. Don’t look at what you do as small, but as a magnificent present of worshipful service to the King.

Give your gift now!

Sad

2008-10-28T18:47:00.001-07:00

I'm struggling today . . . Caleb came home with quite a few papers that he had flunked - twice! There has been suspision of dyslexia since the end of kindergarten and now that he's in 2nd grade, he is officially struggling quite a bit.

Over the years, Dennis and I have been praying and believing for him to "grow out of it", but it just hasn't manifest itself yet. Today his teacher officially started the paperwork to have him tested. Part of me is relieved and the other part is saddened. No one wants their child to struggle - especially with school. Caleb LOVES to learn. He is inquisitive and has a lot of knowledge in his brain, but getting it on paper and trying to do anything that has more than a 2-step process is painfully difficult for him. Homework often involves tears on his part and lack of patience on mine.

His teacher also asked me today to do some extra work with him at home for practice. Of course, I have to come up with the stuff to do. I spent some time online trying to find pre-made worksheets on his level for extra practice. The trick is to get normal homework finished and then practice the extra stuff without having a nuclear overload meltdown. Oh yeah, there is the issue of the number of hours in a day too. If I had wanted to homeschool, I'd have chosen to do that!

Next comes the guilt because I'm trying to figure out how to fit in time for my son! How horrible does that sound!?!?! He should be #1 priority, yet there's work, church stuff, I'm trying to increase my exercise routine to be more healthy, keeping up the house, regular homework, taking care of the other two kiddos, being a good wife to my husband, trying to have an occassional moment to myself, and now extra studying. Can anyone tell me how to add an extra 2 hours in the day? There goes that guilt again . . .

Please be praying for us. I want Caleb to have the best possible chance for success. . . and I need to keep my sanity! Calgon - - - take me away!

What I need to remember: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

FIREPROOF

2008-10-09T13:39:00.000-07:00

Is your marriage "fireproof"? If you don't know what that means, let me encourage you to go see the new movie, Fireproof. Dennis and I went a couple of weeks ago and it is quite a testimony to the changing power a decision has along with the powerful hand of God working together.

This movie is made by the same group of people that made The Flywheel and Facing the Giants. If you liked the other two movies, I believe you'll like this one too. Part of the movie discusses a "Love Dare" that the husband goes through (watch the movie and you'll know what I'm talking about). You can actually get this book, The Love Dare, at Scripture Haven in the mall. I haven't read it yet, but I'm sure it will be fabulous!

Sarah, if you're reading this, it may be an idea for our next book we do for book club!

That's it - just wanted to plug the movie and the book. I know I want my marriage to be Fireproof and I want that for all of you as well!

Work

2008-09-19T15:50:00.000-07:00

I’ve been reading about work lately and would like to share some thoughts with you. These quotes come from, "Top 10 Qualities of a Great Leader."

“The soul of a lazy man desires, and has nothing; but the soul of the diligent shall be made rich” Prov. 13:4
pg. 153 – Diligence is completing what we begin with steady, continuing commitment to the task.

p. 155 – Luke 12:24 tells us that God gives the birds their food, but we also know He doesn’t throw it into their nests.

p. 154 – Work is its own reward. God didn’t offer Adam a thousand dollars a week to be the gardener in Eden. To work the garden and reap its fruits were enough. Work is something to love. Work isn’t something to avoid. It is something to embrace. It’s a therapy all of its own. To work – and to work well – and to complete the job properly, and to feel the pride of a job well done all feed positively into the self-worth of a person’s life. The lazy person whining about how the government doesn’t do this and that for them, complaining that they’ve never had a break, sitting around all day doing nothing is slowly destroying his soul. The great life we all crave comes simply from working. Work is not something separate from God. Work is a calling.

p 153 – Yes, the wise work, and they work hard. Therefore, their achievements are not small.

I don't want my achievements to be small. I think deep down inside, we all want to be a part of something big, something great, something inspiring. What the problem seems to be is that so many people these days want the limelight, but they don't want to roll their sleeves up and work. I also think too often, we want that limelight for our glory, not for God's. When our motivation is wrong, or we are too lazy to even try, it affects our soul.

I want it to be well with my soul. I want to leave a legacy that is inspiring - for God's glory, not mine.

Thought for the Day for my Children's Ministry Team

2008-07-28T15:38:00.000-07:00

Every Sunday, we have someone within the Children's Ministry give a devotion or a thought for the day before we serve. I gave it this week and below are my thoughts. You may not be expanding your church, but odds are you are battling something. I hope this helps someone!

I have been reading Top 10 Qualities of a Great Leader, and as I was reading last night a couple of paragraphs really hit me.

“Strength is not optional but rather imperative in leaders. People will not follow weak, uncourageous leaders. They line up behind the courageous, the strong, the warriors.” P. 40

“One of the great scenes in The Patriot is when the leader-warrior, played by Mel Gibson, sees his ragtag militia retreating back over the hill. He lays hold of the flag and begins racing to the crest, running through the troops in the opposite direction toward the enemy. At the sight of just one brave soldier refusing defeat, the militia rise with fresh courage. They turn and rush the enemy and secure victory.” P. 41

We all know that with growth, comes growing pains. Some people can’t handle the pain, so they quit, they give up, they lose heart. As Covenant Family is in a growing process, we are also feeling those growing pains. My question to you is, are you strong enough to “play through the pain”?

Even if you’re not ready to be the one to grab the flag and lead the charge, are you willing to rise with fresh courage, line up behind your strong, warrior leaders, turn, and rush the enemy so we can secure victory as a united team?

We are at war. We are fighting for souls. Even if we feel we are too weak to “play through the pain”, we must know and stand firm on the fact that the Bible is true and according to 2 Cor: 12.10 “…In my weakness He is made strong”.

So, if you are feeling weak, let Christ be your strength. We need to be courageous, strong, warriors running toward the enemy ready to attack. Neither retreat nor defeat are options.
I truly believe that when our team members see even one of us brave soldiers refusing defeat, our teams will rise with fresh courage. They will turn and rush the enemy and secure victory!

Wheat Free . ..

2008-07-15T12:59:00.000-07:00

For the past few months, my oldest daughter Rebekah has been having breathing issues. I guess it started back in November with a cough that wouldn't go away. I figured it was a seasonal allergy thing because she and I both suffer from that, so I started her on Claritin daily and gave her some Robitussin to loosen up the chest congestion and that seemed to help somewhat.

By March, I realized we were still having an issue and the winter season was behind us, so the seasonal allergy thing didn't really hold water anymore. I took her in to the doctor to see what he had to say. We switched her to Zyrtec, he gave her a steroid to reduce the inflamation in her lungs and sent us on our way. She was better for the week she was on the steroid, but then everything started all over again, only worse.

I waited a few weeks, continued the Robitussin and Zyrtec, but then when I could hear her wheezing, I took her back in. The doctor listened to her, but that day she wasn't wheezing, so he gave her an inhaler and said to use it when she was wheezing. That was fine until we started needing it daily.

Back to the doctor we went. He began questioning about our family history. Is there a family history of asthma - no. Did she have pneumonia as a baby - no. RSV - no. no. no. no. no. I don't remember the series of questions, but the answer was no to all of them. He was stumped as apparently asthma symptoms don't typically "just appear out of nowhere". But, they had. He started her on a daily dose of Singular which is good for allergies and asthma as well along with the Zyrtec.

That worked wonders . . . for about 5 weeks. Then the cough and the tight chest started happening again - back to the inhaler, and then she randomly broke out in hives and itching all over. He sent her in to get a blood test for common food allergies as I do have a family history of food allergies on my mom's side of the family. Nothing really came up except a mild allergy to wheat. He though, didn't feel it was a high enough # on the ranking to be the cause of the issue she was having. Stumped, frustrated, and quite frankly - scared, I started searching for possible answers. I took her off of peanut butter before the food test because my mom is allergic, but that didn't show up at all on the ranking, so that wasn't it.

Someone I know from church overheard a conversation I was having regarding the issue and she gave me a book. After skimming the book and reading about a huge variety of issues we face this day and age that used to be so rare, I decided to take my daughter off of wheat just to see what would happen. She's pretty upset she can't eat a sandwich, but I told her oxygen is much more important. It's only been a couple of days, so we will see what happens. We also have an appt set with an allergist for next week. We'll see what my "in home" experiment turns up and I'll talk to the allergist about that when we go.

For now, please be in prayer for wisdom in this area. Going wheat/gluten free isn't an easy thing to do as my dear friend, Sarah knows. But, it is possible and if it works, so totally worth it. I know God's hand is right here with me guiding me and directing me in the right direction. I am praying and believing for complete healing for Rebekah. While I pray and believe, though, I'm going to do all I can to help her any way I can.

Thus is the life in a fallen world. Oh for Heaven when we can eat whatever we want - not be allergic and not gain weight! LOL

Eternity Driven

2008-06-28T11:22:00.000-07:00

Just a short post today . . . I recently finished the book, Driven by Eternity by John Bevere. I highly recommend this book to everyone! It will greatly influence the way you make your daily decisions. Read it, absorb it, apply it. There could be eternal consequences if you don't and eternal rewards if you do.

The Dance. . .

2008-05-06T14:52:00.000-07:00

Well, I finally finished the book, In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day. It has really caused me to reflect on my life. My successes, my failures, but most of all, my regrets. Mark Batterson states that most of the regrets people have are those of omission rather than of comission. In other words, most people regret having NOT done something rather than having done something they wish they hadn't. I think it's the "what if" factor in life. I think regrets of omission haunt us because we tend to wonder "what if". What if I had chased that lion, what if I hadn't stood on the sidelines, what if I hadn't been such a chicken, or so shy, or so prideful? What if. . .

As I looked back over the past 36 years of my life, I realized I really only have 1 regret of omission and it does still haunt me to this day. Maybe "haunt" is not the right word. Maybe it's God still whispering in my ear to go for it. Either way, the thoughts are still there.

As a kid I was extremely involved in gymnastics. I was competetive for 10 years. As most people know, dance is a huge portion of gymnastics and I enjoyed doing it. At the age of 15 I gave up the sport because of a back injury that forced me out of the whole deal. To this day I miss the discipline and freedom of expression that was involved in the sport.

Through the years since I quit, there have been dance teams at church that offer the opportunity for that expressiveness in dance to come out in the form of worship. As much as I wanted to pursue it, I was afraid looking silly. Dance in the church was a fairly new concept when the team was put together at the church I went to as a teenager. I guess I should say new to that church. David danced before the Lord before there even was a church! Anyway, my shyness and fear of criticism kept me from pursuing something that was still in my heart.

After marrying and moving to College Station, the church we went to didn't have a dance team, but occassionally there were certain conferences that would have an expressive dance portion as part of the itinerary. It was pretty much the same two ladies that always did it and I never asked about it because I was afraid of them thinking I was intruding on their territory. Both of those ladies have long since moved away and here I still sit. A few weeks ago, there was a dance/worship performace during a Sunday service. The team that danced was mostly kids ranging from 15 - 19. The leader/choreographer is 26 and she danced with them, but that still would make me the old geezer of the group.

It's so easy to make excuses - even rational ones. I'm too old, my back is bad, my knee is bad, I won't fit in with the teen scene, etc. I spoke with my husband about this today and he just smiled at me and asked me who I would be dancing for. I told him it would be for God. He continued to smile and let me know that all the rest of my excuses and fears didn't matter. Duh - I know that in my head. It's my heart that's still struggling.

So, tonight I am going to our monthly women's meeting and am praying for the courage to seek out the choreographer of our church's dance team. I want to speak to her and get this old body moving forward. Maybe I'll even have the opportunity to get it moving in circles, and lunges, and leaps, in worship.

Chasing Lions. . .

2008-04-10T15:06:00.000-07:00

Chasing a lion sounds like a crazy thing to do. . . and it is. Lions are massive creatures. They can be deadly creatures. But I'm in the middle of a fabulous book titled, In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day, by Mark Batterson - and it makes lion chasing sound like the most amazing way to live the John 10:10 life. In the book, he asks the question, "Are you living a life worth telling stories about?" I got to thinking about my safe, predictable life and had to honestly answer "no". How boring am I?!?

Deep down, I want to live an exciting, on fire, worth-telling-stories-about life. But the reality is, I don't do it. I began to reflect and started talking to God. I told him I didn't think He sent many lions my way. His response was that I missed them because I wasn't on the lookout for them. OUCH!! That's a painful truth. I probably wasn't looking for them though, because It isn't in my human nature to go running after something that could potentially harm or even kill me.

As a mom, I try to protect my kids from all the dangers lurking around them. I want them to be safe and free from harm. That's the natural motherly, nurturing thing to do. But, is it the right thing to do? Sure we don't want to put our kids or ourselves in danger. We need to use wisdom. God gave us good brains and I believe we need to use them. That said however, are we too busy being careful that we miss out on adventures, risk taking, and the abundant life God has planned for us? I think the answer is a resounding "yes".

I haven't finished the book In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day yet, but I have a feeling the more I read, the more convicted I will be to be on the lookout for lions; chase them when I find them; and trust God wholeheartedly to help me win the battles He's called me to fight. I am looking forward to new and exciting adventures. I want to make my kids proud and leave a legacy worth telling stories about.

Fessing Up . . .

2008-03-17T18:38:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I finally fessed up to my husband that I'm not in my niche at the battery store. I told him that I almost felt like I was having a midlife crisis because I didn't really know what I wanted to be when I grew up (yeah - I'm 35 I know!). Talking to him was so scary because I didn't want to disappoint him. Truthfully, though, I don't think he was surprised at all.

Dennis was so supportive and so awesome. He knows that this is what I'm supposed to be doing right now, but not forever. He knows that working with him was a huge leap of faith for me. He also knows that God has something waiting for me in the wings, we just can't see it yet. I think even when this chapter is over, though he still wants me to keep the books! :) I think I can handle that!

It is so amazing and wonderful to have the support of my man. I really enjoy being with him during the day and am sure I will miss that when it's gone. We win together on great days and encourage each other on days that business is slow. I really didn't think we could work that well together, and at first it was a challenge. Now, it's pretty smooth (except for that PMS week I have monthly)! All joking aside, God has really shown me that we are a team and we can work together for a common goal. Something we hadn't truly done for awhile.

Dennis is in his element and smack dab in the middle of his calling. He is called to be a business owner and a king in the church to provide the provision to help fulfill the vision of our church to reach this community and beyond for Christ. I love seeing him on fire about what he is doing. He is amazing and I am so proud of him!

I can truly say that in this area of my life, I have no regrets. I may have questions and be unsure in what the future holds, but I have no regrets. . . . and that's the kind of life I want to live!

Feeling More Like a Flounder than a Clown Fish

2008-02-03T18:41:00.000-08:00

Isn't a flounder the kind of fish that lays on the bottom and has eyes only on one side of their face. That's kind of what I feel like! Eight months ago when I took a flying leap of faith to help my wonderful husband start his business, it was as if I was free falling and didn't know where I'd land. Now I feel like I've hit the bottom and am floundering around in the wet sand - and can only see in one direction rather than the panoramic view I'm used to. Don't get me wrong, it is an amazing feeling knowing that I am helping Dennis fulfill his lifelong dream. It is so much fun watching him get excited over new sales leads and record days for the store - I know this business isn't just for him. . . he is building his family's future and the Kingdom of God.

That said, I struggle with my own purpose and my own dreams. I don't really even know what they are at this point - hence the flounder analogy. God keeps reminding me of the movie "Facing the Giants" when Grant Taylor asks his wife if she will still love God if He never gives them children. That was her dream - and he point blank asked her if she would still love Father God if she never sees her dreams fulfilled. That's kind of how I feel. I keep telling myself and God that if I work for Dennis the rest of my life, I will still love God. Batteries are not my dream - Dennis knows that and God knows that. But, I don't even know what my dream is.

In a post late last year I spoke of the new position at church that I was doing - - - and I absolutely love it! There's something inside me that lights on fire when I'm leading the team to new territory. It's scary, but it fits. That, however, isn't my daily focus. Maybe that's the challenge I'm trying to overcome right now. My daily focus doesn't seem to fit, but the "sideline routine" does.

I feel my job right now is to be Armor Bearer to Dennis. A new task that I am learning - I've been that for a friend, but God is showing me how I haven't ever really been that for Dennis. . . and in reality, I should be that for him first and foremost.

That said, I still feel like God has a different main plan and purpose for me. I just don't know what it is. Maybe the "sideline routine" will turn into more than that. Maybe it won't. That's a scary and frustrating place to be. But I know that no matter what, I will still love God. He sees me here floundering on the ocean floor and He isn't surprised by what is happening. My prayer is that I quickly learn what I am supposed to learn in this portion of my journey here on Earth, so that I may move forward in His plan and purpose. . . whatever that may be.

Life with Parkinson's

2007-11-17T07:15:00.000-08:00

My parents came over yesterday - they live in Nebraska, so when they come it's a big deal! 11 1/2 years ago my dad was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. It was quite a blow for daddy's girl, but up until this point I've been pretty ok. The last couple of times I've seen my dad (6 months ago and yesterday) he just looks old, tired, and weak. Not the dad I remember playing frisbee with, shooting hoops in the driveway with, going fishing with, working crossword puzzles with. . . not the dad I remember. He was quick witted with a dry sense of humor - which is still there, but he struggles to get his thoughts out. I watched him yesterday struggle to sit straight up in a chair. He constantly leans to the left due to muscle deterioration. He doesn't have the tremors most people associate with Parkinson's. I think that was what I had mentally prepared for, but watching him shuffle his feet because he can't lift them, moving slowly for fear of falling (which he did yesterday - caught his toe on the carpet and fell face first in the hallway. I'm thankful he didn't hit his head.) watching him not be the man I know he is inside is tough!

I got online today to revisit some Parkinson's websites and they reminded me that people don't die because of Parkinson's they most commonly die due to falling, choking, or pneumonia. Not a vision I have for my dad.

What I am truly grateful for in all this is knowing that my dad loves God. I grew up with him being very anti-God and bitter due to past circumstances. Shortly after my oldest daughter was born, my dad gave his life to the Lord and spiritually I've watched him grow and flourish in a marriage that before was barely getting by.

It's so hard to see a silver lining when you are watching a loved one slowly deteriorate. I am so thankful for my dad, though. He is an amazing, present, actively involved dad that loves me and my kids unconditionally.

What an honor to be his daughter!

Something BIG . . .

2007-11-06T15:01:00.001-08:00

Have you ever felt like you were on the verge of something big, something significant, something lifechanging? I feel like that right now. And I've felt that before and when I had that feeling, I was right.

A little over 7 years ago, Dennis and I became part of an organization that we felt would change our lives dramatically. We originally felt like it was a vehicle to increase our income, which it was, but what we didn't see was the dramatic changes it would make in our lives personally - for the better. When we first began our new journey, I had this excitement inside that something big and really important was about to happen. The thing is, though, it didn't happen immediately - it happened over a period of time. A long time. Through leadership training, books, CDs, conferences, etc, Dennis and I have drastically changed our lives. And looking back on the journey, the changes are not just big, they are HUGE!

Well, I have that feeling inside again. Our church has recently presented some new opportunities, some new structures that will be taking place, and the possible launch of a 2nd location. That's BIG! That said though, I have a new opportunity to do what my dream has become over the last 7 years and that is to be a leader of leaders. Our journey of personal development has sparked a desire in me to help others do the same thing - add value to their lives and to the lives of others. I've been really seeking and searching to find exactly what that desire meant for me and how it would play out. I have an opportunity to help lead the leaders in our Early Childhood Department and I want to do it with excellence, with gusto, and I want to succeed. Those butterflies of nervousness and excitement are in me and I am jumping in with both feet to help my team excel, so they in turn can help their individual teams excel.

God is so good! I do not take my responsibilities lightly - in fact after some more reading/education, I've realized some areas I've been lacking and I am striving to do more/better. Leadership is such an awesome responsibilty, but has the potential for great success and reward when you invest in the team you are leading.

Thank you God for this new opportunity. I pray you will guide and direct my every word and action. Help me be an encourager, effective vision caster, and leader. In Jesus' name - Amen.

Cherish Every Moment

2007-10-23T17:02:00.000-07:00

A lot has happened in the last month to show me how precious and short life really is. . .

A young girl in our church (12 years old) was serving in our Children's Ministry one Sunday evening about a month ago. She started to get a headache, so she went home a little early and within an hour, she began vomitting and lost consciousness. After rushing her to the hospital and running some tests, it was realized that she had a tumor on her brain. This particular tumor is only found in girls starting puberty. Apparently it is hormone induced and it has to do with the pituitary gland (I think). This beautiful, vibrant young lady has spent the last month in Texas Children's Hospital and hasn't fully regained consiousness yet. She has fought infection, fever, sodium imbalances, and high heart rates. Currently she is stabilized and began her chemotherapy treatments 3 days ago. Not only has this affected her, but her family! Her parent's world stopped that night and it hasn't been the same since!

Also this month, I got word from my brother that a friend of ours had a medical condition requiring her to have brain surgery. She had some sort of condition that affected the base of her brain pushing into her spine and the space not being large enough. I don't fully understand all the lingo or terms, so that is very elementary language. Anyway, this is a mother of 2 beautiful children who is also involved in dance ministry professionally. Some said she'd never dance again. None of us believe that report! Her surgery was successful, but she still has a road of recovery ahead of her.

I also have a friend whose son may be diagnosed as having autism. What a precious little man who has a facination with numbers and a love for life like no child I've ever seen. I know it's been hard on his parents not understanding and wanting to ask "why" but knowing that God makes everyone just the way He wants them. There is nothing wrong with this little guy - he just processes the world in a different way than we do and that's probably not a bad deal at all!

All that said, I'm feeling very mortal right now. Even among my kids bickering, milk spilling, bathtub splashing, and debating "why momma's" I know that I need to cherish every moment of it. It's hard, especially on days like today where all the kids have done is tattle, cry, and whine about doing homework. They've litterally spilled their milk all over the kitchen floor, pouted because I wouldn't do something they wanted RIGHT THEN, and then tattled some more. And yet, as a mom, I know they are mine for only a short time - and really they aren't mine. They are God's kids and I'm honored to be called Mom. That is a title I cherish and pray I uphold that name with honor.

Father God, please forgive me for not savoring every moment of this life you've given to me. Each and every day is a blessing as are the children you've given Dennis and me. Help me, Lord, honor you in serving my family more, loving them more, and criticizing less. Help me build their confidence and self image. Help me show them You. In Jesus name, Amen

Long Overdue . . .

2007-09-20T15:41:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm long overdue for a post and with the things God has been showing me over the last few months, apparently I'm long overdue on some mental overhauling!

Ever since I had children, I honestly felt like I was the only one in our family making sacrifices. I gave up my favorite hobby - bowling, which I happened to be very good at. I gave up working (albeit, only for 2 years), but I gave it up. With that came, being alone all day with small children, no socialization, and NO money to go get out and do things. I gave up the vehicle I loved for one that was less expensive. As we worked to build our business, I gave up going to meetings so we could save money on childcare, I recently gave up a job I loved to support my husband. I, I, I, I, I . . . .

Because I felt like I was always the one giving things up, I also felt I was handing over my need to be needed. We all have a need to feel significant, important, and needed. Of course, my kids needed me, but I didn't feel like I was making a big contribuition to society. I knew I was important to my kids, but I didn't realize how vitally critical that was. God gave them to me to raise - they are really only mine to borrow for a short while and I was screwing up big time! Children are a gift from God and I knew that in my head, but I didn't get it deep down inside where it really counts.

I sound so selfish - and I am - was - - - well, I'm working on "was". God has really shown me over the last few months how truly selfish I am. I never thought of myself as a selfish person, but my inner heart has shown through over the years in ways that masked as depression and anger - all from the root of selfishness. In the current book I'm reading, What Happens When Women Walk in Faith, it makes the comment that often God uses the mundane things in our lives to help teach us things. I never looked at it that way, but I can see it so clearly now. My depression and anger probably wouldn't have lasted as long if I had seen the silver lining in the gray cloud that constantly hung over me. Ah, but the light is now beginning to creep out! My struggle isn't over, I'm trying to find the proper balance between being selfless, yet still taking the time to take care of and occassionally pamper myself.

I'm sure many of you mom's have felt at least some of this battle. If not, I truly honor you. God is taking me on a journey to learn to honor Him in the mundane, so I can move on to different things. And if this is where He wants me, I am learning to be OK with right where I am. I strive to grow and learn and become a better person, a better mom, a better friend, a better wife, a better leader, but most of all I am striving to learn the lesson of selflessness right here where I am.

God, my heart is to honor you in everything I do whether it be laundry, cleaning up the kitchen, helping my husband, or doing homework with my kids. I realize that there is no insignificant task you have called us to do. The tasks may be different for different people, but I'm grateful for the opportunity to honor you by serving my family - as I feel they are the best family on the planet!
In Jesus' name, Amen!

Favor

2007-07-28T10:50:00.000-07:00

What an exciting week it's been . . . we received a phone call from Batteries Plus Corporate Headquarters and they decided to spotlight our store for the August going back to school promotion! We are (for the month) on the front page of the Batteries Plus website. Glad we're in a college town! Thank you God for favor!

Over the last couple of weeks we've had some amazing days with tons of customers and some disappointing days with hardly anyone. Dennis is busy going after commercial customers, so that the days that are slow with retail traffic, still turn out good in the check register at the end of the day. The good news is that it averages out and according to the schedule we should be on, we are ahead of the game. Thank you God for favor!

Dennis just called me and said that according to the National rankings for stores open less than 1 year - out of 33 stores, we were ranked number 31 for the month of June. Doesn't sound too good, but we were only open 8 days the month of June! Hey, we weren't last! Thank you God for favor!

I'm reading a book right now called Facing Your Giants by Max Lucado. It's amazing, the books our book club keeps choosing and how perfectly timed they are to what we are each needing to hear. Fantastic book, I highly recommed it! God knows all my needs and when I'm ready to stretch, He does that too. Thank you God for favor!

Thought Dump

2007-07-05T11:17:00.000-07:00

Nothing major to say, just alone at the Batteries Plus store and my thoughts are running rampant with no rhyme or reason, so I thought I'd journal them to help me process.

My lady friends and I had our monthly book club meeting on Monday to discuss, Believing God, by Beth Moore. It was a great meeting. I didn't say much, but did lots of listening - just one of those nights. One of the ladies really challenged me with her current situation and what she believes God is calling her to do. She feels silly - kind of like Noah did when he started building the ark - but is taking a leap of faith, for that I truly respect her and give her honor!

The store has been open for almost 2 weeks and things have been a little slow - mostly due to the rain. People don't like to get out in the rain and I can't say that I blame them! I'm getting the hang of all the paperwork and the computer system we use. That was my biggest concern, but that's pretty much gone. Now we just need the floodgates holding the consumers back to open and flow that river our way. The customers we have had are excited we are here and are wishing us the best. Our advertising started early - last night from what people are saying. We had 2 people come in this morning and 1 phone call that came from the tv commercial - YEEHAW!!

I'm missing my best friend. . . we've both been so busy we haven't really been able to connect. I'm glad for our scrapbook group as we both lead it so it requires that we be there. Back in December I went on a cruise to Cozumel and picked up 2 trinkets - 1 that looked like Marlin and 1 that looked like Dory (from Finding Nemo). I've placed my Marlin up on the counter by the computer so I see it every day! For those of you who don't know why I did this, see my very first post - it'll make sense.

My neice is moving back home to the Spring area and my 3 year old daughter found out today and is extremely sad. Kristin has been at Jack & Jill Preschool for the past 2 1/2 years and was Rachel's teacher all this past year. I received a text message from Kristin this morning that Rachel was sad and hadn't left Kristin's side. That breaks my heart for Rachel, but I know she'll be ok and Kristin is doing what she feels led to do. Her Aunt Lara will miss her! She is an amazing teacher and my kids think she's a pretty cool cousin.

I'm feeling a little sentimental and sappy, which REALLY isn't like me. I guess that's what happens when I'm left alone! Maybe I just need to go shopping!

Do I Really Believe God?

2007-06-16T20:04:00.000-07:00

I found myself doubting God last night. It's so hard when you want something so badly, but fear never getting it. Dennis and I have been fighting financial struggles for years; that's no secret to anyone that knows us well. We have been blessed with beautiful children, a healthy family, a house over our heads and vehicles that run, so please don't think I'm whining or complaining. This is about my personal struggle with trust.

God showed me a few months ago that I don't really trust Him. That could very well be why we face the financial struggles we do. So, now that Dennis and I are starting a new venture to help us climb out of the pit of debt, doubt is once again attempting to settle in.

I've been reading the Beth Moore book, Believing God and it is amazing! Also, it is apparently what I need right at this very moment. I found myself talking to aloud to boost my faith stating that I believe God can do what He says He can do . . . for me. That's the kicker - I believe it, but do I believe it for myself? I'm working on it! I am bound and determined to fix this mindset so my family can quite going in circles in the desert and cross over to the promised land. It's time for the harvest we've been preparing for!

Lord, I confess that I believe You can do what You say you can do for ME. I thank you for loving me and leading me on this path to learn to place all my trust in You. For You are Jehovah Jireh, my provider!

A Day in the Life of a Battery Store . . .

2007-06-10T16:42:00.000-07:00

Saturday I spent my 1st and only training day in a Batteries Plus store up here in Waukesha, WI. A couple of times I had that deer in the headlights look and had to ask for help, other times I think I knew more than one of the guys that was supposed to be training me! It was mildly reassuring that he didn't always have the answers either. One of the men doing the training couldn't lift more than 10 pounds due to a surgery he had just had on his eye and he was having trouble seeing as well - so he had me doing all of his big battery lifting and watch battery changing for him. You should have seen the look on the customer's faces when he brought me out to get their boat and car batteries for them! It was pretty humorous!

I can't say I'm an expert at this point, but I do know a heckuva lot more than I did when I started. I saw some poor customer service while I was in the store, so I made mental notes of what not to do's and some what to do's. I think if customer service is over-the-top then maybe there will be grace when it takes me a little bit to figure out their exact needs. I was proud of myself - Saturday's in store training was the thing I was most scared of doing and I made it through. I told Dennis it made me want to go out and order a pizza and a pitcher of beer to celebrate! (I ended up going out for Mexican and had a burrito and a glass of water with lemon.)

All in all it's been good - scary, stretch myself, out ot the box good. I'm ready to be home and see my kiddos and Dennis. Only 4 more days left and I'll be back to the hot, humid Texas summer. Today some friends and I drove to downtown Milwaukee to see the sights. We ended up going for a long walk along Lake Michigan. It was sunny, 75 degrees, and breezy. The park we were at was beautiful and at one point we just lay down in the grass with our eyes closed and soaked in the sun. It was pretty cool - very relaxing. There were sailboats out on the water and people walking their dogs. Family picnics and roller blading. Bike riding and sun tanning.

Fun stuff!

A Fish Out Of Water

2007-06-05T17:48:00.000-07:00

Wow! I've spent 2 days in Milwaukee starting my 2-week training in product knowledge for our new Batteries Plus Franchise . . . and boy am I a fish out of water. Somehow I ended up in a class where 1 lady has a photographic memory, 1 guy has a patent on a pump that is used in certain car batteries, 1 physicist, and 1 guy that has 2 degrees - 1 in chemical engineering and 1 in electrical engineering. I'm the teacher/preschool director gone battery guru wanna be! Sometimes I just have to ask God, "what in the world are You doing!?" And then I smile, knowing that where I am weak, He is strong and knowing that I believe with everything in me that I am supposed to be doing this for and with my man. God truly works in mysterious ways! This adventure isn't about how much I know about batteries, it's about being in unity with my husband and with our calling as kings in the church. So, onward I go!

Great Adventure

2007-05-22T17:06:00.000-07:00

Well, for those who don't know yet, I am leaving Jack & Jill Preschool to help Dennis run our new Batteries Plus store. I have had 5 amazing years at the preschool and I love what I do, but I feel God (not to mention, Dennis) wants me to stand beside my man as we take on this new adventure.

It's interesting how God shows us in subtle ways that we are on the right track, even if we aren't completely sure where exactly it is we are going. I began reading the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge a few weeks ago. It states that three basic needs that women have are to:
1. Be romanced
2. Play an irreplaceable part in a great adventure
3. To unveil their beauty
Well, although I'm not exactly sure how much help I'm going to be in the Batteries Plus adventure, Dennis believes I am an irreplaceable part in this adventure. I'm learning to embrace this as a positive thing, because I am so completely in over my head. I don't know the first thing about batteries, but I know Dennis needs me and I would never let him down.

He is excited about us working together and believes it will be fun. I'm hesitant to go that far yet, but I am at complete peace with my decision and in honoring both God and Dennis in this, I know I am sheltered under the shadow of the Almighty for this great adventure that I was apparently made to be a part of!

There is just something about unity. Even though Dennis and I have always been unified, this is different. Together, we are fighting side by side for our financial freedom. Many of you know we also have an internet-based business that we do together. But, in the beginning, we were not unified. It in fact, was quite ugly. I was quite ugly. I promised myself I would never again not support my husband. No, we'll never agree 100% all of the time, but I can choose to walk in unity with him even when I disagree. God, I believe, is using this opportunity for me to help make up to him what I truly believe I stole from him, from us, from our family. I'm grateful for a forgiving husband and a forgiving God.

Starting June 25th, Dennis and I will stand side by side building our future and the Kingdom of God, together. As one. Unified!

What Are You Saying?

2007-05-01T19:26:00.000-07:00

Ok, so the power of positive thinking and positive confessions isn't really a new concept for me at all. It's biblical and I believe in God, so, why is it that I feel my prayers aren't being answered. . .

I believe in God, but do I really believe God? Sure I believe God can do anything for anyone. I pray and hold fast and confess positive increase into my life, but what do I do when things don't turn out like I think they should? I discovered tonight at our ladies meeting, something that I already knew, but a new twist was revealed to me. I am praying, confessing, and believing for God to bless my life (which He does), but there are some areas I'm not seeing improvement in. So, when I don't see the improvement I feel should be there, I whine and complain (typically called "venting") that God isn't working in my life and He's not doing what He said He would do. So, when I verbalize that whine and complaint, I am completely negating, speaking cursings, if you will, over my life! Duh! When the going gets tough, instead of speaking more positive, speaking more blessings, and speaking things that aren't as though they were, I curl up in the fetal position, suck my thumb, and doubt the Almighty Creator of heaven and earth. How childish is that?!

I guess the big question is why I didn't realize that before. I thought by praying and confessing the positive I was doing the right things. . . and I was. But when I didn't get my way, I threw a fit instead of fighting harder with words of affirmation and success.

Our pastor's wife spoke this evening on this topic and she showed us in the Bible where God spoke the world and all of creation into existence. He didn't just think it into existence, He spoke it. Well, if He has to speak something into existence, wouldn't it be the same for me. I can't just think it, I have to continue to speak it and not speak against myself when tough times hit. The bible is the living, breathing Word of God. If I speak it, it has to come to pass because God can't lie. He is Truth. If I really believe in Him. I need to believe Him.

So, what are you saying? Are you speaking life into your husband, your family, your education, your finances, etc. or are you speaking death? What are you saying?

Altering the Future . . .

2007-04-17T15:20:00.000-07:00

According to the financial icrease guru, Bob Harrison, "I am here to alter the future of the kingdom of God." Hmmm, that's no small task and quite an awesome responsibility. So many people go through life just barely getting by, and quite honestly they think that's fine. Well, I for one, am not "fine" with that. I've had financial struggles, gotten out of them, and found myself right back where I started struggling once again. I've learned a lot along the way, but apparently still have some wrong thinking that needs to be changed to right thinking.

Psalm 115:14 states, "The Lord will increase you more and more. You and your children." I want this and I am taking ownership of that scripture. I'm tired of saying I believe God's word, but not really believing it for myself. Either I believe it all, or I don't! I'm claiming and stating that I do!

That said, if I want to alter the future of the kingdom of God, Bob Harrison states the following requirements:
1. Serve others (help, aide, assist, let down my agenda to help someone else's)
2. Focus on integrity! God always honors that.
3. Be generous (in words, actions, service, money, etc.)

Increase thinking is about living outside the box, not just thinking outside the box. My prayer right now is that God helps expand my thinking and faith to live outside the box, not just think outside the box. I hope this challenges some of you to educate yourselves and rid your mind of wrong thinking and replace it with increase thinking so you too can alter the future of the kingdom of God!

Character is Everything!

2007-04-14T20:06:00.000-07:00

Pastor Danny teaches that if we had to choose between wisdom or character, choose character every time!

It seems to me that so many people have forgotten what true character and integrity is really about. Often we are so concerned about who heard what from whom that we don't even seem to care about casualties that are taken down along the way.

One of my biggest pet peeves, is lying. I've never been able to handle lying. It completely negates any opportunity for trust in my book. I'm not going to say I've never lied or stretched the truth, but the older I get, the harder it is for me personally to stomach any sort of a lie, no matter how small. I literally get sick to my stomach if I stretch the truth. I think that's God's way of convicting me and keeping me on the straight and narrow.

I'm gaining a close second and almost a tie for first as far as pet peeves go, and that is gossip. I've never liked gossip and don't enjoy listening to it, but lately in my daily encounters there has been a lot of that going around. It all tends to start out as a, "well, I just thought you should know. . . " or a, "I don't want to tattle, but I heard . . . " or a "well, I'm going to tell you this so you can be praying too . . ." Ugh! There's an old song from probably the 60's (I'm not really sure) but it talks about only believing half of what we see and NONE of what we hear. Why NONE, because you could be walking up in the middle of a conversation, hearing one piece of a story, and taking the entire thing out of context and creating a story you feel is true that is completely false!

It angers me and it wears me out. Within the last 2 weeks I have come across friends/aquaintances that have been gossipped about and the stories that have been told are complete fabrications. Most of the time I just tell people to ignore it and go on, but the information this time is damaging to these people's character - and your character is everything. I know that God will take care of the ones that are spreading the lies, rumors, half-truths, etc., but He shouldn't have to! If we will choose to walk in integrity and not listen to the stories around us that aren't any of our business it will save a lot of people a lot of pain and suffering.

So, I challenge any of you reading this, if you've been inclined to gossip, stop and stop now. Often we take casualties down that we aren't even aware of because of things that we choose to let out of our mouths. The bible says the tongue has the power of life and death. I urge you to choose life!

Thick Skinned Not Hard Hearted

2007-04-12T16:22:00.000-07:00

I had a conversation today with a friend about her attitude. It wasn't an easy conversation and it was one I wasn't looking forward to. (It wasn't Kimberly, so don't go speculating!) I realized during the conversation that sometimes the things we do for self-defense or self-preservation to protect ourselves from "bad situations, hurtful situations, etc", are often the things that end up destroying us. I watched my friend as I listened to her explain to me the hurts she had been experiencing and her response in the natural was to just pull away from the ones that were hurting her. Natural, I suppose. Spiritual, she thought. Because she knew her old nature was to "fight verbally" when she felt she was being attacked, criticized, gossipped about, etc., she chose to back away from people so not to react improperly. She felt she was doing everyone a favor. What was being perceived from her friends was that she was being distant and even rude at times - she was definitely not showing the love of Christ, although she was trying her hardest to do that.

I realized today that when we are in battle with the spiritual we can become so entangled in not doing the wrong thing, that we become the exact opposite of what we're trying to accomplish. It's strange and scary. We have to be "thick skinned" so as not to be offended by every person that disagrees with us, gossips about us, etc. Yet, in developing that thick skin, we have to be careful not to become "hard-hearted". My friend was trying to be thick skinned and all she was really doing was becoming bitter and hard hearted. The enemy was destroying her and the relationships in her life while what she was trying to do was preserve them. The good news is that God can restore and I believe He will. Remember, we are to bless those that curse us, not pull away from them.

Now, in saying all this, that doesn't mean we need to allow ourselves to camp in negativity all the time. We must surround ourselves with people that have goals and dreams and are "life givers" not "life suckers". What we need to not do is unknowingly become a "life sucker" because we've allowed ourselves to put walls up in order to preserve others from the ungodly things in our lives.

The Countdown to Transition . . .

2007-04-06T09:23:00.000-07:00

Well, today is Dennis' final day at UCS. I remember the day 12 years ago that he told me he had gotten a job there. I flipped out! My ex-boyfriend worked there, who I had just recently broken up with and all I could think of was, "This is Houston! In a city of many millions of people and thousands upon thousands of job possibilities, how in the world did you find the same company as my ex!" His only response was, "This is going to be fun!"

Dennis has had a good career at UCS as far as jobs go. He enjoys what he does and has absorbed tons of information, skills, and made some lifelong friends. With that said, being an employee has never been his heart. Ownership has always been his dream. Today at 5:00 PM will be the official kickoff of that dream.

I am so proud of him! He has always been a fabulous husband, father, and provider. My personal goal for this year is to be his biggest cheerleader and #1 fan. In the past it's not always been as it should and it's time for me to make it right.

As he begins this journey of franchise owner, it will be a major transition for our family as we learn to balance new responsibilities and time schedules. The kids are excited about Daddy's new truck with the Batteries Plus advertising all over it. All that's left is the actual building. One has been chosen and wheeling and dealing that is way over my head is going on.

Dennis will be gone for a month to training, so I'll become a single mother for awhile. Not a journey I'm particularly excited about, but it's a necessary one, so I've been praying for God's strength, wisdom, and grace to get me through this season.

So, cheers to my man! My husband, friend, father to our kiddos, and Kingdom Builder!

Hi! My Name's Marlin - and I'm a Clown Fish.

2007-04-03T18:11:00.000-07:00

First off, let me explain the whole clown fish thing. . . My best friend, Kimberly, and I are complete opposites. She's outgoing, carefree, and brings me out of my shell. I, on the other hand, am conservative, anal, and anti-social. If any of you have ever seen the movie, Finding Nemo you know the two main characters (besides Nemo) are Marlin (Nemo's ultra conservative dad) and Dory (the fish with short-term memory loss that's just out to have fun). She and I call ourselves Marlin (me) and Dory (Kimberly). We've worked together for almost 5 years and anytime anything goes wrong I'll tell her, "this is bad Dory, really bad". A line from the movie when the two fish are surrounded by jellyfish. Kimberly and I have loads of fun and compliment each other in the work environment. In leadership, we are trained to surround ourselves with people who are strong where we are weak. God has done that by bringing the two of us together. That's the reason for the name, just for the record, though, I'd like to think I'm slightly more funny than Marlin actually is in the movie!